A Visit to ABC Kitchen

"Where do you want to go for your graduation lunch?" I asked my son D a few months before his special day.

"I made reservations for 3:00 p.m. at ABC Kitchen," said D, "It was voted best new restaurant of 2011 by the James Beard Foundation."

"Wow-o-wow! I cannot wait to go," I said with a big grin on my face.

ABC Kitchen is located at
35 E. 18th Street in NYC 

And so it was, on a sunny day in May, a little over a week ago, after my son graduated from college, my son D, my daughter A and I enjoyed one of the best-ever celebratory luncheons at this award-winning restaurant. It was farm-to-table dining, casually elegant, with an artful design and exquisite locally sourced food and organically focused cuisine, just as the press release said.

"What are you going to order?" I asked D and A, as we sat down for lunch. We were all famished and hadn't eaten since the early morning.

"Do you want a drink?" asked the waitress. "We have a wonderful rhubarb bellini and rhubarb martini." I was sold and so were my table mates. Rhubarb is one of my favorites.  I adore strawberry and rhubarb pie, rhubarb crumble and rhubarb compote, but had never tried a drink made with rhubarb. "Absolutely," we all chimed in. A ordered the martini and D and I got a bellini. We raised our glasses and made a toast, "To D on his graduation day and to his ongoing career success." Sip, sip - down they went.

We chose pretzel crusted calamari with marinara and mustard aioli as an appetizer. The calamari were hot and crispy and the tangy sauces were a nice complement for dipping.


Drumroll please, for our entrees. Ta da, ta da, ta da! All three were simply scrumptious:

I chose the spinach, goat cheese and herb pizza. The crust was thin and the spinach was delicate and flaky. Ooh it was so good, I ate it all. (I did share a slice or two with D and A. I was a nice mom.)

"How do you make this spinach taste so good," I asked the waitress. "It's the brick oven," she replied. (I attempted to copy this pizza recipe this weekend. I bought goat cheese and fresh spinach and used some herbs that I had brought back from Italy. I spread the dough very thin, basted it with olive oil, sprinkled the fresh goat cheese and spinach over the crust and dotted it with herbs. Then I added a few more drops of olive oil over the top. The pizza turned out pretty good, not as good as ABC, since I don't have a brick oven. We all agreed that next time I'll load up on the spinach, since the leaves tend to shrink during baking.)

D selected the spice crusted monkfish, pea puree and carrot vinaigrette. It was so flavorful and the fish was tender. Ooh, aah, ooh, aah. We loved the fish.

A wanted a salad and decided on the crispy shrimp, romaine, market vegetables and carrot-sesame vinaigrette. The carrot-sesame dressing was so light and tasty, definitely wish they could bottle that dressing for home use. Or, maybe, ABC will decide to produce a cookbook one day, maybe, maybe.


Did we leave room for dessert? Did we? Did we? You guessed right. Of course, we did.
  
"What do you recommend for dessert?" we asked the waitress.

"You have to try the sundae. It is amazing," she answered with a grin.

"We'll share the sundae," I said. "And since it is a special occasion, we'll order the cookie plate with lemon drop, chocolate chip cookie, PB marshmallow bar & honey cheesecake bar, too. Two desserts.  Yes, we'll have two."

Can you find the 3 scoops of ice cream?

OMG! OMG! OMG! Food coma was about to set in when they brought out the sundae. Listen to what was in this big bowl. I could not believe it was so large. There were three scoops of salted caramel ice cream. (One scoop for each of us, how nice ABC was to give us three scoops.) The ice cream was sitting on chocolate sauce and topped with candied peanuts, caramel popcorn and whipped cream. (Did you get all that, I said three scoops with peanuts, chocolate sauce and caramel popcorn. Do I need to repeat it again? This is definitely one to imitate at home. I would go back to ABC just for this dessert.)

Yes, we finished every last spoonful of the sundae. We left a few cookie morsels on the plate. I paid the bill. And we all agreed that ABC Kitchen is worth waiting on the waiting list for a table. It is truly one of the best...James Beard was right. Hope you'll remember the first letters of the alphabet and pay ABC Kitchen a visit next time you are in NYC.

"Who is graduating next?" I asked A and D. "We're done with school for a while mom," they both quickly replied. "We're done for now."

"Well okay then, I'm so proud of you two kids. Yes, I'm very proud. But, we'll have to go back for my birthday next year. And maybe since you are both working now, you'll treat your mama to a nice birthday lunch at ABC Kitchen. Okay? I love you two so much. Okay? Do you know what day my birthday is? Should we make the reservations now? Soon? Okay? I love you two so much. As much as a three scoop salted caramel ice cream sundae with chocolate sauce, and candied peanuts and caramel popcorn and whipped cream. And that's really big."

Judi

Cheers To The Graduate

Yesterday will go down as one of the best days of my life. My son D, my baby boy who I gave birth to 22 years ago this week, graduated from college. Yes, he did. He did it and he did it well. While some on either side of me dozed off during the ceremonies at NYC's Radio City Music Hall, I kept my eyes wide open. I loved the pomp and circumstance from beginning to end. I listened to every word that each speaker had to say.

"Will my son D heed these words of wisdom as he begins his finance career next week in the big city?" I thought as I reflected on my own personal journey the past 30+ years.  Have I practiced, and do I continue to practice, what these wise speakers preach?

"Follow your passion," said Danny Meyer, CEO of Union Square Hospitality Group, which includes some of the country's most highly acclaimed and popular restaurants including Union Square Cafe, Blue Smoke, Shake Shack, Maialino and more. He spoke after being honored with a Doctor of Humane Letters. (Since my son D spent most of his food dollars at Shake Shack during his last two years at Pace University, I felt a special affinity for Danny. D promises to take me out for a Shake Shack burger when he earns his first paycheck. Can't wait.)

"Use your time well," added Danny. "Everyone gets time equally. It doesn't matter how much money you make." (Ooh, I always wish I had more time. That's likely why I spend so little time sleeping. There aren't enough hours in the day to do all that I want to do. I need not forget menopausal moments and hot flashes that are equal contributors to my sleepless nights as well.)

Danny talked about "HQ" also known as the hospitality quotient, about how you make people feel during a transaction...about any transaction, not just at a restaurant meal. (I so agree with Danny. Emotional skills are very important in life and I have definitely tried to make every colleague, client, friend, family member and partner feel good during my work and non-work transactions.)

Danny used words like "kind, curiosity, work ethic, empathy, self-awareness, integrity" as he shared his secrets of success. (Love these words, don't you? I am definitely becoming more self aware during my life after 50 and intend to keep learning something new each day.)

Danny closed by urging the graduates to "be humble." "Life is a series of waves to be embraced and overcome," he said. (Ah yes, those waves keep coming, even after more than three decades in the work world. Sometimes the waves are small and I glide easily to shore, while other times they are huge and I end up crashing or doing a belly flop just to stay afloat.)

Pace President Friedman shared his four "C's" for a winning career during his address. "Compete, contribute, create and have courage to take risks and do new things," he said. "Think of your life as an oak tree. Walk out on each branch.  If you just stay in the center of the trunk you'll miss some great opportunities." (I do hope my son D takes more risks than I did.  I know he will.  He has already shown me how fearless he can be. I am so proud of him, so proud of his accomplishments, especially during these past four years.)

I hope D pursues his passions like Danny said. I hope he walks out on the tallest and narrowest oak tree branches and tries lots of new experiences like President Friedman said. I hope he learns from his worst failures and takes pride in each and every triumph.

Go out there D and conquer the world. Yes, you will likely fall down sometimes, it will hurt and I may not always be there to help pick you up. You'll need to do that yourself and then climb the next branch on your own. No I won't be there to catch you...because I, yes I, your mama J, will be climbing a taller oak tree branch right beside you. It's time for me to take some new risks in my life.

Here I go-go-go watch out below-low-low!

Judi

P.S. - Stay tuned for my upcoming blog post about our graduation luncheon at ABC Kitchen.  The meal was so yummy.  I'll be taking you inside for a peek at this trendy, James Beard Award-winning restaurant with pictures of all the fabulous foods we ate, especially the sundae we had for dessert with homemade caramel ice cream, candied peanuts and popcorn, whipped cream and warm chocolate sauce. I think I will now have to definitely go back on my cholesterol medication for sure.

Mothering My Wonderful 90 Year Old Mom

My sister N and I spent this past weekend in Flo-ree-da visiting my mom. It was a joyous time. We ate well, we slept late each morning, we read the Sunday New York Times by the pool and soaked in plenty of rays during four glorious days of brilliant sunshine. (Yes, we put suntan lotion on, don't worry we didn't want our 50+ year old arms and legs to get too sunburned.)

It was so wonderful. I felt like singing "The Lazy Song" by Bruno Mars. Come on, sing a verse with me and you'll see how it felt...

"Today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone
So leave a message at the tone
Cus today I swear I'm not doing anything
Nothing at all
Ooh hoo, ooh hoo
Hoo ooh ooh
Nothing at all"

While it felt great to "slow down" and take a break from our hectic lives, my sister N and I agreed that we take a lot of the physical things we can do for granted. Things like walking, taking a shower, getting in and out of a car, balancing on two feet or even one (as I do in yoga class).

Mom can't move too quickly since she walks with a walker. It takes time for her to get in and out of a car and put on a seat belt. "Stand up straight," I reminded her constantly. "Don't push the walker too far out from under you. Take your time."

Mom eats more slowly too. I bet she enjoys her food more than my sister N and me, as we are constantly rushing to the next job or task at hand. Mom is a mindful eater - that's a good thing. "Are you sure you want to order the crab and seafood cannelloni?" I asked her at dinner on Saturday night. "Don't you think that entree is too rich. I don't want you to get a stomachache tonight." She ordered it anyway and enjoyed a chocolate dessert afterwards too.

I brought my mom some new clothes - two cute tees and two pairs of pull up capris. I bought the kind of clothes that don't have any buttons or zippers or ties that need tying. It's hard for my mom to button a button with her arthritic hands. "Be sure to try on the new clothes and see if they fit," I said to mom. "And wear the clothes, don't just hang them in the closet and look at them."

"Am I mothering my 90 year old mom too much?" I thought during certain moments. Maybe so, but whenever I tried the role reversal trick she shot back, "let me do it myself" and I tried to abide.

Ugh, it's not easy being a caregiver to an aging parent. However, this weekend we were three wild and crazy girls out milling around and doing a whole lot of chilling (as my son often says when I ask him what he is doing). No worries, no deadlines, just having fun.

"What book is that you are reading?"asked mom.

"Fifty Shades of Grey," I replied. "And N is reading Fifty Shades Darker."

"Never heard of those books, are they any good?" said mom.

"Ooh, they are really good," I replied. "But, mom, I think you are too young for these books."

Happy Mother's Day mom. I love you mom. So sorry, no fifty shades or fifty shades darker for you. No, no, no, not while I'm doing the mothering. The only shades you're getting are the new sunglasses I bought you at Walgreen's this weekend.  Oh yeah and please make sure you put them on when you go out in the sun, okay.

Judi

The Writer Within - Part II

I listened, I learned and I sat among the literary this past weekend in NYC, as I enjoyed my first American Society of Journalists and Authors Conference (ASJA). There were so many editors and authors. There were newbies like me trying to break into the profession. There were accomplished authors who have written many books. There were social workers and doctors who want to write a book someday. There were bloggers (like me) and social media wizards. They were all smart, enlightened and so full of writing wisdom. Their passion for the written word, whether online or in print, was inspiring.

So who did I meet and what did I learn?  Do you wanna know? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya?

Okay, some new news that may be of interest to boomer girls:

-  I met the Beauty Editor at MORE magazine, Genevieve Monsama. MORE targets our age group and Genevieve said that their stories often include the psychological component of aging.  She said that women 40+ want to look good for their age. (I agree and hope that one day I can have a bylined article in MORE.  They look for writers who are 35+ and who can weave stories with personal experiences. Will have to think about a beauty story I can pitch.)

- I met Senior Associate editor of AARP magazine, Lesley Wooldridge. Do you know that this magazine has a circulation of 35 million? They produce separate editions for those 50+, 60+ and 70+. Lesley says that AARP readers like to feel great, save money and have fun. They are vibrant active people. (Know wonder I like this magazine.  I am the target market. Are you an AARP member? You should be if you are 50+. I know so many people who resist joining AARP when they turn 50. I don't know why. You get good benefits and if you are a magazine-aholic like me, you get AARP magazine included with your membership.)

- I listened to "The Happiness Project" author Gretchen Rubin at Friday's luncheon. Gretchen encouraged writers to enjoy the fun of failure. "That's part of moving forward. The danger of doing nothing is worse than trying and failing," she said. "Remind yourself how happy you are to be doing what you're doing." To motivate us more, Gretchen quoted the author Harlen Coben, who said "No one has to fail for me to succeed." (Gretchen is so right, I am happy when I am writing my blog. And I can't wait to start writing my book, especially after receiving tips on my book proposal during a one-on-one mentor session with author and former agent Lisa Cool.)

- I met Sondra Forsyth, Senior Editor of ThirdAge.com. Sondra is a writer and a former ballerina. More than four million people read ThirdAge.com, which has a lot of great health and wellness content for boomers. You should check it out.

I closed out this wonderful ASJA conference among the standing room only crowd at Columbia University 's Graduate School of Journalism Professor Sree Sreenivasan's session on Social Media 2012. Prof Sree is a technology expert and shared a great clip with us from the Today Show when the worldwide web and the internet were hardly part of people's vocabulary. It reminded me of how much our lives have changed in the past 15 years and about how much more will likely change in the next 15 years.

Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, YouTube, Foursquare, Tumblr, Instagram...what will be next? How does anyone keep up with it all in a 24 hour day? I guess there is not time for sleep.  Menopausal women don't sleep anyway.

Tweet, tweet, tweet....oh, to be a writer...it's all so exciting.

Judi

  

The Writer Within

I started blogging about five years ago, when I was counting down to 50.  It was a way to keep a journal as I approached a very important birthday. As many of you, my readers, know, along the way my life had its ups and downs and downs and ups. Two weeks shy of turning 50, I lost my husband, my soulmate of 25 years after a traumatic illness.  Later that year, both my children graduated - one from college and one from high school - leaving me with an empty nest.  I had to reinvent myself.  And so I did.

Many of you traveled this journey with me through my blog. You watched me grow during my countdown to 50 and continue to watch me grow during my life after 50.  You told me in a recent survey that you read my writing because you like my authentic voice, my fun spirit, and my optimistic style.  It is because of all of you, my dear readers, that I continue to blog.  You have helped me through the bad times and the good times, through my fears and through my grief, through my mistakes and through my triumphs.

I am very proud to share some good news with all of you.  I recently applied for a scholarship to attend the American Society of Journalists and Authors' (ASJA) 41st Annual Writers Conference in NYC.  I sent off my application along with my writing samples and my blogger resume.

"It is with great pleasure that I hereby notify you of your selection as a recipient of a 2012 ASJA Writers Conference scholarship. Congratulations! We were very impressed with the quality and number of applications we received, and yours was indeed a standout. We are very happy to offer you a place at the Conference," said the note from ASJA's Executive Director.

According to their website, ASJA was founded in 1948 and is the nation's professional organization of independent nonfiction writers. Its membership consists of nearly 1,200 outstanding freelance writers of magazine articles, trade books, and many other forms of nonfiction writing, each of whom has met ASJA's exacting standards of professional achievement.

OMG!  Wow-o-wow!  OMG! Wow-o-wow!

I am one of 10 scholarship winners selected to attend the ASJA conference.  My writing impressed the writers.  In addition, I receive a mentor time with a published author.

OMG! Wow-o-wow! OMG! Wow-o-wow!

Am I excited?  You betcha, betcha, betcha! OMG!  Wow-o-wow!

I read all 72 pages of the online agenda. I want to go to this seminar and that one and that seminar and this one.  Ooh, ooh, ooh, I can't wait to mingle with all the journalists and authors and learn from the literary. I can't wait to be in a room full of writers.

Hold on a minute.  I, Judi with an "i," never liked creative writing or English class in elementary, middle or high school.  I cringed when I had to take a creative writing class in college. Now, during my life after 50, I enjoy writing and look forward to putting my fingers on the computer keys.  Like a good wine that gets better with age, I too have learned to enjoy the things I disliked in my younger years, thanks to the wisdom and wit I have gained with age.

And so dear, dear readers, with many thanks to you, my writer within is emerging.  And one day, soon she may be a published author or have a paid byline in a magazine or newspaper.

OMG!  Wow-o-wow!

Am I excited? You betcha, betcha, betcha!  Hope you are too.

Judi

A Proud Mama Boasts About Her Boy

I opened the letter that arrived this week from my son D's university.  He will graduate in about a month from today.

"Congratulations," read the letter, "I am pleased to advise you that you will be recognized for your academic accomplishments at an awards dinner. You are graduating with Latin Honors: Cum Laude. You will receive a Latin Honors medallion, which can be worn at Commencement."

Tears of joy welled in my eyes. I smiled and jumped up and down.  I sent a text to D to tell him how proud his mama is and how proud his dad would have been if he were here. (I know he is looking down on D from up above and quietly beaming.)

Just the other day, I had found D's birth certificate as I was filing away some papers. I was reminded of how quickly he came into the world almost 22 years ago  He was born at 12:33 a.m. and I went into labor late the evening before. He was my second child and when his older sister was born, I had to be induced because my water had just trickled out. When I went into labor with D, I had a flood all over the car. We weren't sure whether we were going to make it to the hospital in time.

"The head is crowning," I remember Dr. M saying that night. "The baby is almost here.  Just one more push." Out popped D.

"It's a boy," said Dr. M.  My husband was smiling from ear to ear. He was so happy to have a son. I on the other hand was concerned. I never thought I would have a boy. How was I going to raise a son?  I hadn't grown up with any brothers, only one sister. My father was not a sports enthusiast. I knew about Girl Scouts and Barbies.  I knew about party dresses and bows in the hair, not bowties or even how to knot a tie.

Yes, it was a surprise to hold my baby boy D in my arms more than two decades ago. Unlike parents today who want to know the sex of their baby ahead of time (sometimes even through a blue or pink cupcake filling) and post the news all over their Facebook pages in advance of the birth, I never wanted to know the sex of either of my babies ahead of time. To me it was worth the wait.

However, since there was no Facebook or Twitter or YouTube back in 1990, it is fitting that I take an opportunity to boast in a blog post about my boy D who is all grown up now. When I look back on my life of the past 22 years, he is one of my proudest achievements. (Note: Should his sister be reading this post, she and all readers should know that my daughter A is also one of my proudest achievements.)

"I don't know if I want to go to the Awards Ceremony," said D when I spoke to him the other night.

"What do you mean you don't want to go?" I asked politely. "Your mother wants to go."

"We'll see," said D.

"Okay, it's up to you," I said. (What I really wanted to say was that if he didn't want to go, I would go to the dinner for him and get the Latin Honors medallion and maybe I would wear it for him if he really didn't want to wear it.)

I am such a proud mama.

Go D! Go D! Go D!

Judi

Forever Wrinkle Free

"What about Retin-A for wrinkles?" I asked my dermatologist, as she removed the four stitches from the spot of pre-melanoma that she had taken off my back a week earlier. "Before you try a prescription medication like Retin-A or Renova for your wrinkles," said Dr. W, "I would suggest you try a milder form in an over-the-counter version. Some people are sensitive to Retin-A and you have to stay out of the sun when you use these products.  I like the RoC line with retinol. Why don't you try it as a night cream?"

Off I went to Ulta, the beauty supply store, to buy my new wrinkle cream. I purchased the RoC Retinol Correxion Deep Wrinkle Serum. (There were so many products in the skincare aisle that I likely added a wrinkle or two to my face just squinting to read all the fine lines of copy on each package.)

According to the RoC website, RoC Retinol Correxion Deep Wrinkle Serum will help me "get up to 10 years back to the look of my skin." (Ooh, ooh, ooh, will I look like I am 44 instead of 54 after 12 weeks of using this serum? Ooh, ooh, ooh, I hope so!)

After washing my face, dabbing it with diluted cider vinegar, and putting on my RoC retinol serum (it does have a bit of an odd odor to it, but the odor dissipates quickly), I climbed into bed and opened up the March issue of InStyle magazine to learn more about "turning back the clock on aging" from Dr. Fredric Brandt. According to In Style, Dr. Brandt is the celebrity go-to guy for nonsurgical facelifts and so-called Baron of Botox. Here are Dr. Brandt's tips:

1. Dr. Brandt recommends wearing at least a teaspoonful of sunscreen on your face every day. He says "protecting your skin from the sun lets the repair enzymes shift from defending skin to healing it." (I agree and have been using SkinCeuticals Physical Fusion UV Defense SPF 50 on my face instead of foundation. My esthetician D suggested this UVA/UVB sunscreen fluid which is water and sweat resistant. I also like that it is tinted, so I don't have to use foundation.)

2. Dr. Brandt say to exfoliate just once a week with an at-home microderm system or peel.  Dr. Brandt says that if you exfoliate too often you won't be able to use other anti-aging products, like retinol. (Ooh, ooh, ooh, I want to use my RoC retinol serum, so I better listen to Dr. Brandt.  I only exfoliate when I go for a facial, which has been about once every few months. I will have to do some research on at-home exfoliates or just make more appointments with my esthetician D.)

3. Dr. Brandt says women spend too much time focusing on tiny fine lines that don't have a big impact on their appearance.  He says that "it's the changes in the shape of your face - sunken cheeks, undereye hollowing - that really show your age." (Sorry Dr. Brandt, but as of now I am not going under the needle with a filler to plump up my face. Nope - no Restylane for me - not yet - I am too afraid of using any fillers.)

4. Dr. Brandt says that the redness and itching that many people feel when they first add vitamin A-based creams to their regimen are "all part of the acclimation process." To see results, he says you have to persist. (I hear you Dr. Brandt. I will be persistent.  I will rock the RoC retinol serum for the next several weeks.)

5. Dr. Brandt says that the older you get, the less foundation you need. He says that "base tends to settle into wrinkles and lines , which makes skin look duller." He says to apply a light weight tinted moisturizer instead of a heavy foundation. (I agree and that's exactly why I switched from foundation to a tinted sunscreen fluid. I feel guilty that I stopped using my Bobbi Brown foundation - so sorry Bobbi I love your makeup book called Living Beauty, plus your name ends in an "i," just like mine.)

6. Dr. Brandt says that "if you don't protect your neck now with SPF, prepare to be covering up in your 50s." (What?  Am I going to have to wear turtlenecks for the rest of my life? I really don't like the way turtlenecks look on my body. They do not flatter my face or neck at all.) Wait a minute - Dr. Brandt says that I should not worry. He says that I should be proactive and use cream below my chin, but be careful.  So glad I read this article because Dr. Brandt says that "the skin on the neck is more sensitive and that I should use retinol on this "fragile area no more than two or three times a week." (Thank you Dr. Brandt for this important information. I just went out and bought L'oreal Age Perfect cream to put on my neck four to five nights a week when I am not using my retinol serum.)

This is really starting to get very complicated. With my menopausal memory, I know I am going to become confused. I better mark up a calendar just for my wrinkle creams and tape it to my bathroom mirror so I can coordinate my regimen. I do want my face and neck to stay forever wrinkle free during my 50+ years. I definitely don't want to have to wear turtlenecks the rest of my life.

Judi