An Angel In The Outfield

According to George A. Bonanno, the author of a new book called The Other Side Of Sadness, "Well over 50 percent of those who are grieving show resilience." George says that "People are deeply pained, but from the beginning they can function. They oscillate between turning inward, to face the fact that their loved one is gone, and turning outward." George also says that "people seem to have the equipment to deal with very difficult things."

I think George is right. I've been resilient this second year as a widow. I think I was likely resilient during my first year too.

On the eve of the second anniversary of my late husband's passing, it seems fitting that I should write him a letter and share an update with him on my resilient year. Here goes:

Dear M,

Lots has happened this year. Listen to all the things I accomplished...

- You would be proud of how I've kept your lawn all green. I hired a new landscaper and he actually showed up each week to cut the grass. It rained a lot, so the grass grew quickly. I also swept the leaves away from the basement steps. I know you never liked when the leaves cluttered the outdoor steps and sump pump. (Did I mention that I had two trees cut down this year too? I wasn't that strong to cut the trees down by myself, I hired a tree man.)

- You were right, a house takes a great deal of work to maintain. I think our house was testing me this year to see how strong I was. First, the garage door broke and I had to get a new garage door and a garage door opener. I wasn't strong enough to attach a new garage door to the house, I hired a garage door man.

- You were right, it takes a great deal of money to maintain a house too. Our house decided that a broken garage door was not enough for one year. After the garage door was all fixed, I noticed a crack in the basement wall. That led to an engineer inspection which found two cracked walls. Remember when we had so much rain a few years ago and we had to reinforce the side walls of the house? Well, I had to do that again this year, only on two other walls. I wasn't strong enough to put the beams in the walls. I hired a concrete man.

- Moving on to other accomplishments this year, you should know that our son D transferred to the BIG CITY to go to school. You would be so proud of how he is doing in the BIG CITY. (Did I mention that Jay-Z wrote a great song about New York City? I like the song, but I don't think you would.) D got an A- in Accounting and a B in Macroeconomics this semester - how fabulous is that?

- You would be so proud of our daughter A too. She is living in the BIG CITY, along with our son D, and she is doing really well as a Financial Analyst. You always said she was so smart. She is. She is.

- No, I didn't write my book this year. Not yet. I'm so busy with work and keeping this house in shape. I'm hoping that I can report more on this subject next year. It's a dream I have that will come true one day. Yes it will. Yes it will.

- What else happened this year? Let's see. Your Giants football team likely won't make it to another Superbowl in February. They didn't do too well this season. But, you know what? Your Yankees won the World Series. Wish you were here to see them win. (Maybe you were here. I bet you were the angel in the outfield that night.) And the best part was that our son D finally made it to a Yankee parade. (Remember when he wanted to skip school and go to the Giants parade and I wouldn't let him? Well, this year he didn't even have to skip school, he saw the parade outside his school window. How cool is that?)

- I now have a MACBOOK computer. (I know you didn't like Apple computers, but I really wanted one.) And you know what? I learned how to download music and put it on my iPod. My new favorite rock performer this year is Lady Gaga. I don't think you would like her music. But, she did just meet the Queen of England.


- I managed to do all of my food shopping this year without complaining. However, I'm not as good a shopper as you used to be. Cooking for one is not the same as cooking for four or for two. My cooking is not as good as your cooking. Did I mention that I miss the risotto you used to make?

- Menopause has wreaked havoc on my body. I continue to deal with my headaches, insomnia and middle age middle.

I've definitely grown stronger this year, even if I can't chop down a tree, put in a garage door, or drill beams into the foundation of a house, I'm one strong woman. I know how to hire many men to do get the job done. Looks like I finally learned how to delegate. You would be so proud of me.

I think it's time to put up the little plaque that my friend M gave me a year ago. There's a saying on the plaque. It says that "when someone you love becomes a memory...the memory becomes a treasure."

I will always treasure my memories of you. And I know you will too. You're such an angel.

Love always,

Judi

Becoming Stronger

I've spent the past two years strengthening my life. Yes, since my husband passed away (it will be two years next week), and my kids have officially left the nest (well almost, the younger birdie tends to come back more often than the older one), I've had a chance to concentrate more on me, myself and I.

So, it was very fitting when the publicist for Marcus Buckingham, the author of "Find Your Strongest Life, What the Happiest and Most Successful Women Do Differently," contacted me and asked if I would like Marcus to write a guest post for my blog.

"Absolutely," I told the publicist, "but first I need to take The Strong Life Test and discover the role I was born to play, as Marcus' book says." At 50+, it's time to find out what my role in life is truly meant to be, and pay more attention to my strengths. I do want to be a happy woman during the second half of my life.

I heard Marcus speak at a recent women's conference this past October and loved his presentation on the topic. He described nine different life roles:

1. An Advisor is good at giving advice. (Am I good at giving advice? I do try to give advice to people.)
2. A Caretaker always wants to make sure that everyone is okay.(I must be a caretaker, I'm always trying to be inclusive.)
3. A Creator wants to understand, take notes. Marcus says creators like time for themselves and have the best conversations with themselves. (I must be a creator. I always talk to myself.)
4. A Motivator wants to raise the energy in the room. (Well, that's me. I like to pump up the volume when I'm in the room.)
5. An Influencer wants to move people to action. (That could be me too. I don't like to sit around. I like to execute and move people to act.)
6. An Equalizer sees the world as a whole and wants to do the right thing. An Equalizer is a passionate defender. (Hmm, am I an Equalizer?)
7. A Pioneer loves the new and has a strong tolerance for ambiquity. (Not me. I don't think dealing with ambiquity is one of my strengths.)
8. A Teacher asks 'how can I help others learn and grow?' (That's me. I like to teach others.)
9. A Weaver sees the world as a web of relationships and is always looking for what's best in other people. (Hmm, am I a Weaver?)

Once you discover your lead role and your supporting role, Marcus says you should follow your internal compass to live a stronger life.

I was intrigued by Marcus' perspectives and especially eager to take The Strong Life Test. I did. And guess what I found out? Surprise, surprise, surprise.

My lead role is 'Teacher.' A teacher 'begins by asking 'what can I learn by this?' My focus is instinctively toward the other person. Not her feelings, necessarily, but her understanding, her performance, her skills. (No wonder I have so many people on my gift-giving list. This fits me to a tee. Plus, I did get a degree in education more than 30 years ago, but I never did teach. Why didn't I teach? I can't remember! I like The Strong Life Test. Tell me more. Tell me more.)

My best quality is 'my faith in others.' (Yes, yes, yes. That's me. I have faith in others and usually in my eyes people are innocent until proven guilty, rather than guilty until proven innocent...like when my son went to a concert in NYC and didn't tell me.I told the person who snitched on him that he absolutely did not go to NYC to a concert without asking me first. Unfortunately, in this case, he was guilty of the act and did face a punishment.)

Tell me more. Tell me more. Oh no, a Teacher must be careful and not come to believe that everyone is capable of everything. (So true, so true.)

My supporting role is a Motivator. I knew it. I do raise the energy in the room. I do usually sense the energy in a room and feel compelled to do what I can to elevate it - just like The Strong Life Test says. Listen to this: It says that a Motivator is an instinctively optimistic person. (Yep, that's me.)

But what should a Motivator be careful of? Uh, oh. The Strong Life Test says that I should be careful that I don't get sucked dry by emotional vampires. (Yep, that's me. I do let all the vampires suck me dry. No wonder I like the Twilight movies.)

That was fun. I think I would like to have Marcus write a guest post for my blog. I'm going to ask him. Stay tuned. Maybe he will write it next week or the week after.

Judi

Holiday Giving

It's December 1st. I better start my shopping or I won't get all the gifts for all the people on my list. I have 25 people on my list. Oops, now I have 26 people. I forgot to add my newspaper lady P. She is one of the most important people in my life. She delivers my newspaper before breakfast every morning. She is so prompt. I don't know what I would do if she quit the New York Times Home Delivery Service. I guess I would have to move back to NYC. P is definitely deserving of a BIG gift.

There's the exterminator man J. He is another important person in my life. He arrives the first Friday of every month to make sure there are no creepy crawlers in my house. He also does a good job of getting rid of the mice that like to sneak into my basement when it gets cold outside. The mice are quite cute, but I don't like when they decide to come inside my house. J is absolutely on my gift-giving list this year.

There's the postman D. He is so nice to me too. He always waves and says hello when I see him delivering my mail. And whenever I have a big package, he delivers it right to my door. I must remember to put a 'thank you' gift in the mailbox for D.

There's my house cleaner M. M arrives every other Tuesday and mops my floors and bathrooms, vaccuums my rugs, dusts. M keeps my house so nice and tidy. I love to come home after M has been at my house. It smells so fresh and clean. I'm going to give M an extra-special food basket to go along with her holiday gift.

"You love to give gifts," said my daughter A.

"I know," I replied. "It makes me happy."

"You can always give me a gift," said A.

"I know," I replied. "It makes me happy."

"You know mom, D (my son and her brother) doesn't think he is getting a Chanukah gift this year. He thinks that since you give him so much money for college that he is not deserving of any additional gift," said A.

"Of course, he will get a gift, but don't tell him. I want to surprise him," I said. "It makes me happy." (Hopefully, he is not reading my blog and doesn't find out that he is getting a gift. Shush, don't tell him!)

It's also time to make my yearly charitable donations and give to those who are most needy. There are so many in need this year. It's difficult to decide which organizations to give to. I wish I could give to all those in need, but then I would likely be more needy.

I always select four non-profit organizations, then I divide up my charitable funds accordingly. I think this year, I will give to the local Food Bank to help those who are hungry. I will make my second donation to the Boys and Girls Club in my area in honor of my late husband. The Boys and Girls Club is one of the organizations that the Yankees contribute to...and my late husband was a big Yankees' fan.

Let's see, ah yes, I must give my yearly gift to the Girl Scouts. I have such fond memories of scouting that I want to make sure their traditions continue. (What would life be without Girl Scout cookies...especially the Chocolate Mint ones?)

I'm going to make my last donation to some cause related to women's health. Yes, I want to help women in need this year.

I must go shopping for the family that I've adopted too. This year my adopted family asked for food and other household essentials instead of gifts.

My yoga teacher told me about a wonderful new book that was just published. And then I read about the same book in the newspaper today. It is called "29 Gifts: How a Month of Giving Can Change Your Life." It was written by Cami Walker, who has multiple sclerosis. Cami gave a gift each day for 29 days. Giving to others gave her a more positive outlook on life. According to the article in today's New York Times, Cami said that "It's about stepping outside of your own story long enough to make a connection with someone else. Giving for 29 days is not suggested as a cure for anything. It's simply a coping mechanism and a simple tool you can use that can help you change your thinking about whatever is going on. If you change your thinking, you can change your experience."

I don't know Cami, but I bet I would like her if I knew her. I'm definitely adding this book to my reading list. In fact, I'm going to buy it during one of my shopping trips over the next few weeks. It is not going on my retirement reading list. Nope, I'm going to read it before 2010.

Big gifts, little gifts, memorable gifts, something for all 26 on my list. I better get moving, there are only 10 days left before Chanukah and 24 days left before Christmas. Wonder if all this gift-giving will help ease my menopausal headaches?

Judi

Totally Organic

Yesterday, I had a totally organic day, thanks to my fabulous totally organic facial. My esthetician D, took special care of me on Saturday morning because I was having one of my menopausal headaches (which I've been experiencing a lot lately.)

"I smell honey," I said to D. "What is that you are putting on my face?"

"It is totally organic blueberry honey. Honey puts moisture into the skin," D replied. "When you age you lose moisture." (It's a good thing there weren't any bees buzzing around my face. My face was soooo sweet. I always knew that blueberries provided lots of antioxidants when I ate them, but didn't know they could help enhance my face.)

"What's next?" I asked D, as she slathered another concoction on my sweet face.

"This is a plum anti-aging masque," said D. "It is totally organic."

I felt so healthy. I like to eat plums during the summertime. I especially like prune plums. But, I never knew that plums could contribute to anti-aging. (All I needed was some peaches and bananas and I could have had a fruit salad on my face.)

D also massaged my neck and back to try to lull my headache. I told her all about my menopausal woes that are starting to invade my 50+ year old body - the mood swings, hot flashes, insominia, and headaches. D is so thoughtful and always has recommendations to help me heal. Today's recommendations were totally organic.

"Try Rescue Remedy," said D. "Just a few droplets in your water and it will help you de-stress. It's totally organic." She also suggested I try acupuncture and gave me the name of a licensed acupuncturist. (Ooh, acupuncture...I don't know about putting needles in my head or back. Dare I try this? Will it clear up my menopausal mess? Yes, no, yes, no. I think I am going to research this suggestion a little further.)

As for the Rescue Remedy, I left my facial and went straight to Whole Foods to search for the totally organic droplets. I couldn't believe how many totally organic menopausal solutions were on the shelf. Since my headache was pounding at full strength, I was ready to buy one of each kind...but I stopped myself and decided to see if the Rescue Remedy would rescue me, before pursuing other options.

I passed the flower section as I headed to the checkout and picked up some huge sunflowers. "They will perk up my day," I thought to myself. So I bought two bundles.

I came home and put a few droplets of my Rescue Remedy in my water. Then I had some totally organic Yogi tea that I had bought at the store the day before. According to the Yogi tea box, the tea is supposed to calm tension and anxiety. It includes lavender on the ingredient list, so I decided to try it.*

I finished reading my relaxing book, "Yiddish Yoga - Ruthie's Adventures in Love, Loss, and the Lotus Position." It's all about a recently widowed New York City Jewish grandmother whose granddaughter gives her a year of yoga class. What a wonderful little book. (It was only 110 pages, so I was able to read the entire book, including the Yiddish and Yoga glossary of terms, in less than an hour, as I sipped my Yogi tea. One less book for my retirement reading list.)

Ah, Ommmmmmmmm, Ah, Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I also decided that I need to read more about what's in store for me during menopause. Where is that other big book I bought? Ah, yes, "The Wisdom of Menopause," by Christiane Northrup, M.D. Oh, no. Oh, no. This book is going to be my bible for the next several years and I found it on my retirement reading bookshelf. Not a good spot, I need to read it now. Now, now, now. I need all the wisdom I can get right now, whether it is totally organic or not. Show me the wisdom Christine. Now, now, now.


Judi

Disclaimer: While I may try these herbal remedies, I do not endorse any of them or their proclaimed cures for menopause or any menopausal symptoms. Try at your own risk.

Forever Young

I'm always eager to learn ways to look younger. That's why I was keenly interested in the beauty feature in this month's InStyle magazine on "10 Ways to Look 5 Years Younger." So, what did the 10 beauty tips say? And if I follow them, will I look like I'm 46 instead of 51?

1. Brighten Up with Concealer - According to the makeup artist Mally Roncal, who is quoted in the story, if you use concealer "People will start asking who your surgeon was." (Yes, I do use concealer under my eyes every day. However, no one has ever asked me who my surgeon was...which is good because I don't have one.)

2. Be Careful With Color - By color, they mean hair color. According to New York colorist Louis Licari, who is quoted in the story, "If you over-highlight your blond hair, you lose the golden tones that keep it looking youthful and pretty. And hair that is dyed too dark is unnatural." (I am careful with my hair color. I have a fabulous colorist who puts just the right amount of highlights in my hair and doesn't dye my hair too dark either. Ah, glad I am complying with Lou's suggestions.I agree with you Lou. I do. I do.)

3. Perk Up A Saggy Butt - This tip says that 'our bottoms tend to be less buoyant as we age...gravity pulls them down.' Susie Crippen of J Brand, says to "check the label of every pair of jeans before buying to make sure they have at least 2 percent stretch, like Lycra. Pants with more than 98 percent cotton can stretch out as soon as you wear them." (Wait, J Brand is the brand of jeans that my daughter A raves about. I should listen to Susie, she must be smart when it comes to perking up saggy butts. I do love my Not Your Daughter's Jeans which also perk up my butt.)

4. Shine On - This tip says that years of blow-drying and styling our hair can leave it lackluster...that adding conditioning gloss or a shine serum can help hair sparkle. (I'll have to try the conditioning gloss. As for the shine serum, I already have that product in my repertoire of haircare products and it seems to weigh my hair down rather than sparkle it up.)

5. Find the Perfect Bra - According to New York stylist Annabel Tollman, "A good bra elevates your chest to a higher altitude, giving you a longer, slimmer-looking waist." (Hmm, hmm, maybe I will have to listen to Annabel and go to Victoria's Secret and buy one of those new Miraculous bras.)

6. Give Some Lip Service - This tip says that our lips lose volume as we get older and that dark matte lipsticks accentuate our aging lips. It says to switch to pink gloss to look younger. (Okay, after I go to Victoria's Secret to get my new perfect bra, I'm going to go to MAC and buy some 'pink gloss' for my lips.)

7. Fake An Eye Lift - Ooh, ooh, I think I am practicing this tip already. Yes, I am. I put my eye makeup on just like the tip that N.Y.C. makeup artist Paula Dorf says. Sorry Paula, I learned this tip from the MAC makeup lady when she did my colors several years ago. I think it was when I was 5 years younger and I'm still practicing this tip. I do 'use a light-colored shadow near my lash line and a deeper shade in an arc above the crease where my lid is dropping.'

8. Get A Little Cheeky - The Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Gabriel Chiu says that "as we age the fat pads in our cheeks fall" and that to defy nature you can either get a filler or you can use a bright pink blush, which illuminates the cheekbone and draws the eye upward." (No fillers for me. I'm not putting any fillers in my cheekbones. And I've tried bright pink blush once before and it doesn't look good on my cheeks. Guess I won't be practicing this tip. I wonder, if each tip is worth .5 years and I practice all the other nine tips, will I look 4.5 years younger? You think?)

9. Lose the Powder Makeup - Paula Dorf says that "As you get older and your skin produces less oil, dewy makeup is more flattering." (No wonder why the makeup artist at Bobbie Brown recommended that I start using an oil based foundation when I had my 50th birthday makeover. It's been almost two years since I had my 50th birthday makeover and I've been practicing this tip ever since.)

10. Mix Things Up - This final tip says to "always throw in something unexpected, like messy hair, a casual jacket, or flats with a fancy dress." (I can do messy hair, I have several casual jackets in my closet. I don't like flats with a fancy dress, they tend to make my pear-shaped body look more hippy. Personally, I like pumps with a fancy dress or a sandal.)

My yoga teacher N, also had a few yogi cures for aging that she shared with us during tonight's yoga class:

Yogi cure #1 - The first yogi cure for aging is to do a 10 minute inversion every day. An inversion can be a head stand, or a hand stand, or the dead bug pose (which is my favorite. I look like an upside down dead cockroach when I do this pose.)

Yogi cure #2 - Massage your face outward every night. Start at the top or bottom of your face and stimulate your skin and then put your moisturizer on your face. Stretch out your neck too by pulling your face forward. (This will add an extra step to my evening skincare ritual, but I'll try it if it will help me stay forever young.)

If I can find 10 more beauty tips to help me look younger, I wonder if I can look 10 years younger? Wait a minute...wait a minute. How does the chorus in the "Forever Young" song go? Think I need to stop, breathe, and sing...

Forever young,
I wanna be forever young
Do you really want to live forever?
Forever and ever
Forever young I wanna be
Forever young
Do you really want to live forever?
Forever, forever


Judi

Fading Away and Starting ANEW

I'm back to work. My staycation is over. Glad that stressful week is behind me.

I'm sleeping better. My shoulder muscles are less tense. (Of course, it could be due to my weekly massages, they are likely helping. Thank you to my massage therapist D. You are so helpful.) Will have to see what my chiropractor says about the muscles in the lower half of my body when I visit Dr. A tomorrow. The muscles in my backside (which I didn't even know existed) were very tense during last week's office visit while I was on my staycation.

Now that I'm back to my normal high powered work routine, I seem to be much better.

I'm rising early when the alarm goes off at 6:00 am. Showering and putting on all my face creams. While I was on my staycation I went to see my esthetician D to get my eyebrows waxed. While I was there, I talked to D about all the dark brown spots that seem to be cropping up on my face lately.

"Soon I will have 50+ spots on my face to match my age," I told D. "And I'll look like a brown and beige dalmatian."

"It's your beach house that's causing those extra spots," said D. "Too much fun and sun. You need to use more sunscreen when you are out in the sun." (My condo on the corner at the shore is a major contributor to brown spots on my 50+ year old face. How can this be? I love my condo on the corner.)

I always thought that a good moisturizer with SPF 30 was enough sunscreen. All summer long, I never put extra sunscreen on my face. Uh oh! And I didn't use a hat either because I don't like flat hair. And my super duper beach chair with the awning didn't work too well, so my face did get a lot of exposure to the sun. Uh oh, uh oh!

"Not to worry," said D. "I have a new all natural skincare treatment from Osmosis called Enlighten that can help fade those spots. You just use a little bit each morning and again at night before you go to bed."

I was on my staycation, so $50 for a 1 ounce bottle didn't seem too steep a price to pay to help my brown spots fade away. Plus, D gave me a free sample of Osmosis' sunscreen. (What a bargain this turned out to be, free sunscreen included.) However, I didn't think about what this extra step would do to my morning and evening skincare regimen.

Then an email arrived from the public relations woman from Avon. "Avon is introducing a landmark discovery to reactivate the skin's repair process to help women reverse the look of wrinkles," said the press release.

Reverse wrinkles. Are you talking to me? Are YOU talking to ME? ARE YOU...ARE YOU...ARE YOU...TALKING TO ME?

We'll send you a sample said the nice PR woman.

"Sure I'll try your new ANEW Reversalist Serum and Night Cream," I wrote back. I am always on the lookout for new anti-wrinkle creams. I wasn't thinking about what these extra two steps would do to my morning and evening skincare regimen - I was on my staycation.

I have such a busy morning and evening skincare regimen that I almost didn't have time for breakfast this morning. I had to dot my spots so my brown spots would fade and then follow up with the new serum (over time, it says that 88% of women agreed that their skin looked dramatically younger after using this serum...hmm, hmm, I guess it is worth the time...I hope my skin will look younger). Then I had to put on my regular moisturizer on top of the other creams and then brush on my foundation and apply my under-eye concealer (which is especially needed due to the lack of sleep since my evening skincare regimen now takes quite a bit longer before bedtime too), and powder my face.

"Your skin looks good," said a colleague at work today. And well it should, I thought to myself, and well it should.

Ooh, ooh, it's 11:20 pm and I have much to do before I hit my pillow. Speaking of my pillow, I think all this skin cream and serum is ending up on my pillow as I toss and turn each night. My pillow definitely may end up being more wrinkle and brown spot free than I am. If my face doesn't look better after the next several weeks, at least my bed linens will be nice and smooth.

Judi

P.S. - Coming soon is my new review site titled: A Baby Boomer Girl's Raves, Rants, and Reviews. I'll let you know as soon as it's ready.

Taking the Stress Out of Staycation

I read about staycations where you take a vacation and you stay home. It sounded like a fun idea. So, this week I decided to take a staycation. The only thing is, while I am supposed to be relaxing, I seem to have packed my staycation with more things to do than I would if I had vacated my house and taken a vacation.

Every time I add to my staycation 'to do' list, I keep telling myself - "STOP DOING AND START BEING," "RELAX," "CHANT OMMMMMs," "RELAX," "STOP DOING," "START BEING."

"Stay, stay, stay," I said to myself this morning as I lifted my head off the pillow at 7:30 am. I did feel like I was talking to myself the way my friend talks to her dog. Only my friend's dog listens and stays when he is told. Not me, staying in bed and relaxing is not one of my strengths.

Yesterday, I awoke early and headed to my condo on the corner, for the first appointments on my staycation 'to do' list. The cable man fixed my television and internet. The heater man arrived to service my heater. I called the alarm installer to discuss installing an alarm system. I called the landscaper to discuss potential landscaping work. (Check, check, check, check - that's four checks off my staycation 'to do' list and it's only Monday. I'm doing really well.)

"STOP DOING AND START BEING," I yelled out loud. After all the workmen were finished with their work, I relaxed for a few hours on the couch, sipped some of my Dunkin Donuts Decaf Vanilla Lite Latte, and watched the morning talk shows that I never get to watch when I'm working. There was Regis and Kelly, and the girls from The View. (Okay, okay, I half relaxed. I also was multi-tasking and sending emails to some of my friends who I haven't talked to in a long, long time. Check, check, check - another three checks off my staycation 'to do' list. Oh, I'm so good.)

"STOP DOING AND START BEING," I shouted this morning. I went to the gym and lifted my weights. Then I went to a lunchtime yoga class. (Check, check - getting back to the gym and going to yoga are both on my staycation 'to do' list.)

Next, it was off to the cleaners and tailor to have my skirts hemmed. (Check, check.) And then I headed to my appointment with my financial advisor for my annual financial check-up.

"You're in good shape. Nothing to worry about Judi," he said, "Your accounts are all doing better this year." (OMG, thank you, thank you. Check plus.)

What else is on my staycation 'to do' list? Hmm,hmm, hmm, hmm!

- Clean out my closets and bring the old clothes and shoes and accessories to GoodWill.
- Wash my king-size comforter that is on my king-size bed.
- Shred my old documents that are mounting up in my filing cabinet.
- Clean out all the emails that are overflowing in my inbox.
- Paint the blue trim on the bottom of my front door that is chipping. (First go to Home Depot and buy a paint brush. Actually buy two paint brushes because I also need to paint the white trim on the back door that is chipping.)
- Read all the magazines that are piling up on my counter. (I just finished reading the October issues of Vogue, More, and In Style magazines and now the November issues are here already. Wish these months would start slowing down instead of racing away. I think time definitely races faster since I turned 50.)

I arrived ahead of schedule for my massage this evening.

"You're early," said my massage therapist as she answered the door.

"I'm on staycation," I said.

"That's right," she said, "Your staycation is this week."

"Your muscles are so tight," said my massage therapist as she began to massage my neck and shoulders. "I don't know about that staycation, you seem very stressed. Perhaps you should go back to work."

She was right, I am more stressed staying home. Tomorrow, I'm going to really, really start relaxing for the rest of my staycation. No more 'to do' list for me. I'm putting my staycation 'to do' list away.(Check minus, minus, minus.)

It's staycation...time to stay, stay, stay Judi...stay, stay, stay put.

Plan for Wednesday's Staycation:
- Stay in bed all morning and watch all the morning talk shows. Maybe even have breakfast in bed. Ooh, la, la.
- Have lunch with my girlfriend C.
- Have afternoon coffee with my other girlfriend C.
- Have dinner with my boyfriend L.
- Watch the Yankees win the World Series. (Yankees win the World Series is on my staycation 'to do' list. I hope they heard me, because I want this check to be in the affirmative.)

Plan for Thursday's Staycation:
- Stay in bed all morning and watch the morning talk shows. Maybe even have breakfast in bed again. Ooh, la, la, x two. (Can I do this? Will I have ooh, la, la twice in one week? Stay, stay, stay.)
- Get a manicure (maybe a mani and a pedi too, after all, I'm on staycation.)
- Stay put on couch all afternoon. Catch up with tv girlfriends. "Hi Ellen, hi Oprah, can't wait to see ya."

Glad I planned a little two day vacation in NYC for the end of the week. I really need to get away.

Judi