Taking the Stress Out of Staycation

I read about staycations where you take a vacation and you stay home. It sounded like a fun idea. So, this week I decided to take a staycation. The only thing is, while I am supposed to be relaxing, I seem to have packed my staycation with more things to do than I would if I had vacated my house and taken a vacation.

Every time I add to my staycation 'to do' list, I keep telling myself - "STOP DOING AND START BEING," "RELAX," "CHANT OMMMMMs," "RELAX," "STOP DOING," "START BEING."

"Stay, stay, stay," I said to myself this morning as I lifted my head off the pillow at 7:30 am. I did feel like I was talking to myself the way my friend talks to her dog. Only my friend's dog listens and stays when he is told. Not me, staying in bed and relaxing is not one of my strengths.

Yesterday, I awoke early and headed to my condo on the corner, for the first appointments on my staycation 'to do' list. The cable man fixed my television and internet. The heater man arrived to service my heater. I called the alarm installer to discuss installing an alarm system. I called the landscaper to discuss potential landscaping work. (Check, check, check, check - that's four checks off my staycation 'to do' list and it's only Monday. I'm doing really well.)

"STOP DOING AND START BEING," I yelled out loud. After all the workmen were finished with their work, I relaxed for a few hours on the couch, sipped some of my Dunkin Donuts Decaf Vanilla Lite Latte, and watched the morning talk shows that I never get to watch when I'm working. There was Regis and Kelly, and the girls from The View. (Okay, okay, I half relaxed. I also was multi-tasking and sending emails to some of my friends who I haven't talked to in a long, long time. Check, check, check - another three checks off my staycation 'to do' list. Oh, I'm so good.)

"STOP DOING AND START BEING," I shouted this morning. I went to the gym and lifted my weights. Then I went to a lunchtime yoga class. (Check, check - getting back to the gym and going to yoga are both on my staycation 'to do' list.)

Next, it was off to the cleaners and tailor to have my skirts hemmed. (Check, check.) And then I headed to my appointment with my financial advisor for my annual financial check-up.

"You're in good shape. Nothing to worry about Judi," he said, "Your accounts are all doing better this year." (OMG, thank you, thank you. Check plus.)

What else is on my staycation 'to do' list? Hmm,hmm, hmm, hmm!

- Clean out my closets and bring the old clothes and shoes and accessories to GoodWill.
- Wash my king-size comforter that is on my king-size bed.
- Shred my old documents that are mounting up in my filing cabinet.
- Clean out all the emails that are overflowing in my inbox.
- Paint the blue trim on the bottom of my front door that is chipping. (First go to Home Depot and buy a paint brush. Actually buy two paint brushes because I also need to paint the white trim on the back door that is chipping.)
- Read all the magazines that are piling up on my counter. (I just finished reading the October issues of Vogue, More, and In Style magazines and now the November issues are here already. Wish these months would start slowing down instead of racing away. I think time definitely races faster since I turned 50.)

I arrived ahead of schedule for my massage this evening.

"You're early," said my massage therapist as she answered the door.

"I'm on staycation," I said.

"That's right," she said, "Your staycation is this week."

"Your muscles are so tight," said my massage therapist as she began to massage my neck and shoulders. "I don't know about that staycation, you seem very stressed. Perhaps you should go back to work."

She was right, I am more stressed staying home. Tomorrow, I'm going to really, really start relaxing for the rest of my staycation. No more 'to do' list for me. I'm putting my staycation 'to do' list away.(Check minus, minus, minus.)

It's staycation...time to stay, stay, stay Judi...stay, stay, stay put.

Plan for Wednesday's Staycation:
- Stay in bed all morning and watch all the morning talk shows. Maybe even have breakfast in bed. Ooh, la, la.
- Have lunch with my girlfriend C.
- Have afternoon coffee with my other girlfriend C.
- Have dinner with my boyfriend L.
- Watch the Yankees win the World Series. (Yankees win the World Series is on my staycation 'to do' list. I hope they heard me, because I want this check to be in the affirmative.)

Plan for Thursday's Staycation:
- Stay in bed all morning and watch the morning talk shows. Maybe even have breakfast in bed again. Ooh, la, la, x two. (Can I do this? Will I have ooh, la, la twice in one week? Stay, stay, stay.)
- Get a manicure (maybe a mani and a pedi too, after all, I'm on staycation.)
- Stay put on couch all afternoon. Catch up with tv girlfriends. "Hi Ellen, hi Oprah, can't wait to see ya."

Glad I planned a little two day vacation in NYC for the end of the week. I really need to get away.

Judi

My Middle Aged Middle

I watched Wanda Skyes special on HBO a few weeks ago. She is a very funny lady. I especially could relate when she talked about her 'Esther.' 'Esther' is the rolls that have started to appear around her aging stomach and abs.

Like Wanda, I have an 'Esther,' however, I think I'll call my rolls around my aging stomach and abs -'Ethel.' Wanda says her 'Esther' craves bread and drinks. And she doesn't like to be put into Spanx.

My 'Ethel' doesn't like Spanx either. Ooh no, Spanx are not fun for my 50+ year old body. I tried a pair on one time and could not sit down. That's when my 'Ethel' was smaller than she is now. I'm sure she would not like to be squeezed into a Spanx ever again.

My 'Ethel' craves black and white cookies from the local deli. She also craves pasta and like Wanda's 'Esther,' my 'Ethel' craves bread too, especially when it is freshly baked warm bread or rolls in a basket at a restaurant with flavored olive oil for dipping.

My 'Ethel' is looking forward to Thanksgiving. It's one of my favorite holidays and I think it is one of 'Ethel's' favorite holidays too. My 'Ethel' always shows up after Thanksgiving, after I have eaten my sister-in-law's wonderful calorie laden, high-fat stuffing (made with Pepperidge Farm stuffing - and lots of butter - OMG it is soooooo good). My 'Ethel' usually likes to pack in the pies on Thanksgiving. Although, this year I was considering making apple, pear or berry cobblers or betties instead of pies. My 'Ethel' may not be as happy without the thick pie crust...but a fruit dessert without the pie crust might help me to better manage my friend (or foe) 'Ethel.'

I do try to exercise 'Ethel' away. But, the past few years, she doesn't seem to want to disappear. Maybe as I strengthen my core with my yoga practices, 'Ethel' will go on an extended vacation. Or maybe not. I just may be stuck with my middle aged middle for the rest of my life. My pear-shaped body isn't going to turn into an apple or an hour-glass any time soon...if ever.

The zen card I selected at my yoga class tonight was 'happiness.' It said that 'happiness comes from within and that no one or thing can take it away.'

Did you hear that 'Ethel?' I'm 50+ and my happiness comes from within...whether you decide to hang out or hide out around my stomach and abs for the rest of my life. You cannot take away my happiness. It's here to stay. And as another one of my favorite female comedians Lily Tomlin always says, 'and that't the truth!'

Judi

Dreaming of Nightingales

I was dreaming last night…dreaming of nightingales. I was dreaming that nightingale birds flew over my face and pooped on it. And after they pooped on my face it was all shiny and bright and I looked 10 years younger.

I was dreaming about nightingales because on Saturday, my daughter A and I had our Geisha Facials at the Shizuka New York Day Spa in NYC. The Geisha Facials are famous because they include a special natural ingredient – nightingale droppings.

Who would have thought that bird poop could do wonders for my face? And at 50+ years old, I am willing to try anything to perk up my wrinkles and improve my skin. Sooooooo, when A called to ask if I wanted to go to Shizuka for their famous Bird Poop facial for only $50 during NYC Spa Week, I signed up right away.

“Victoria Beckham gets these facials and they are usually $180,” said A. “They must be good.”

“Victoria Beckham gets these facials? Wow, and they are only $50 this weekend. Make the reservation,” I said to A, “Sign me up, I’m ready to be a Geisha. I want porcelain skin just like a Geisha.”

As I lay down and readied for my treatment, I was relaxed and released. (Although, I was disappointed not to get a Japanese robe to put on like it said in the Shizuka brochure. Instead the esthetician put a towel around my neck to cover my shirt and gave me a paper cap to cover my hair.)

First she wiped off my skin and then it was time...time for the bird poop.

"I'm putting nightingale droppings on your face now," said the esthetician. (I almost started to laugh as she put the droppings on my face. I knew the facial included bird poop, but I wasn't sure exactly what kind of bird poop it would be. I was so glad to find out that it was poop from beautiful nightingale birds and not from NYC pigeons. I don't like pigeon poop, not in my hair, which has happened to me before in NYC as the pigeons fly overhead, and especially not on my face.)

According to the Shizuka New York Day Spa website, nightingale droppings "were once only known to kabuki dancers and the Geishas themselves. Geishas found that regular nightingale droppings facials could be used not only to remove makeup but to brighten, heal and retexturize the skin due to their natural enzymes and guanine, which imparts a pearly luster to the skin. At the Shizuka Spa this ancient and prized Geisha beauty secret is artfully revived. The droppings are perfectly safe to use on facial skin and are sanitized through exposure to ultraviolet light before being milled to a fine powder. Shizuka mixes the nightingale droppings with delicate Japanese rice bran to enhance its inherent exfoliating and facial lightening properties."

After the exfoliating bird poop, the esthetician used a tool to extract the excess oil in my skin. Then she used a seaweed mask to calm down my skin. She finished off the facial with a lovely coating of lavender oil. (Oh, how I love lavender oil. In fact, my lovely boyfriend L bought me my very own bottle of lavender oil at Whole Foods. I really wanted the lavender oil to mix with my Epsom salts to add to my bath, but now I may also start smoothing it over my face each night. It is heavenly and helps me relax before bedtime. In fact, maybe I should get some nightingale birds to sing me to sleep too. Yes, I bet if I had nightingale birds around my house, I might sleep better. And, then I could create my own nightingale bird poop to put on my face...just like a Geisha. Wonder where I can purchase some of those birds?)

I definitely was glowing after my Geisha facial. My face felt like porcelain, just like a Geisha. "You have very nice skin," said the esthetician as she led me out to the waiting area. "I do? Really? Well, thank you, " I replied, as I thought about all the various anti-wrinkle creams I've applied to my face over the years. Maybe these creams are making a difference.

I will definitely go back to Shizuka Day Spa again. And I might just treat myself to the full-priced Geisha facial next time around, especially since they would not let me use my Spa-finder Gift Certificate that I had won at the BlogHer conference last summer. I may just have to go back to Shizuka and put my $100 gift certificate towards another Geisha facial.

A and I left the spa and headed off to Loehmann's for another mother-daughter bonding experience. My feet were so sore by the time we arrived back to A's apartment later that night. I could have used a foot massage by the end of the day. I think I likely had stepped in some pigeon poop during our three mile walk up and back, but it didn't do anything to my feet. Wish those NYC pigeons were like nightingale birds and provided some health benefits instead of being so annoying. Maybe then my feet wouldn't hurt so badly.

Like the poet Lord Byron, I think I do now have a special affinity for the nightingale:

It is the hour when from the boughs
The nightingale's high note is heard;
It is the hour when lovers' vows
Seem sweet in every whispered word;
And gentle winds, and waters near,
Make music to the lonely ear.
Each flower the dews have lightly wet,
And in the sky the stars are met,
And on the wave is deeper blue,
And on the leaf a browner hue,
And in the heaven that clear obscure,
So softly dark, and darkly pure.
Which follows the decline of day,
As twilight melts beneath the moon away.
- Lord Byron

Could someone tell the NYC pigeons to fly south and send back some nightingales in their place?

Judi

Keeping the Engine Running

I had plans to have a quiet evening last night. I promptly left work at the end of the day and was going to go to my Gentle Yoga class to stretch, chant my 'Om's," and take time for namaste meditation.

Unfortunately, my car's engine did not want me to relax last night. While I was driving home, having my usual conversation with my mom in Flo-ree-da, a little red light started to blink.

Blink, blink, blink.

It looked like a genie bottle with a drip coming out of the spigot. "Uh,oh. Uh, oh," I said to my mom, "Gotta go, gotta go, a red light is blinking in my car." "Okay," said my mom. "Be careful and take care of yourself. Call me later and let me know what happens."

I hate when red lights light up in the car that are not supposed to light up. I don't know ANYTHING about red genie bottles, especially red genie bottles on my dashboard. I started to get scared as I drove home, hoping that my car would not heat up or start smoking. Luckily, I made it to my driveway without any fire or smoke. I quickly opened the glove compartment and pulled out the car manual and searched for the meaning of the little red genie bottle.

Oh, good, I found it! Page 62.

Then I read it! "If a little red genie bottle lights up, immediately stop the car and pull over. There is a problem with your oil and if the little red genie bottle is on you could do serious damage to the engine of your car."

OMG, OMG! I could have ruined my engine. I hate when things go wrong with my car.

I quickly called the Honda service department and asked the service rep what to do. "Check the oil level, if it is low or leaking and you have driven your car while the little red genie light was on you could have done serious damage to the engine." (That's the same thing the manual said I thought. What a smart service man he is.) "I think you may want to get the car towed to our service station," he added.

Towed, towed, towed!

My poor sick car. (Actually, before I called Honda or the Geico Emergency Service to order the tow truck, I called my boyfriend L and asked him to come right over. Actually, actually, I called him twice to come RIGHT over now, now, now. Such a nice boyfriend. He did. He did. He did come RIGHT over and helped me check the oil dip stick - which was bone dry. Uh,oh. Oh,no. Uh,oh. Oh,no...this was not only distressing, it could be dangerous to my engine.)

"You know when your blood pressure is not working right in your body, it's pretty serious," said E, the nice Honda service rep when we arrived at the service station. "It's the same thing with your oil, it's the lubricant in your car and if there is no oil it is not a good thing. It keeps the engine going."

Yes, E, the nice Honda service rep was very smart. He knew a lot more about cars than I did...and more than I will ever know or understand. I was glad to leave my sick car in his hands. Of course, I was very worried about my car's engine too.

I called my mom back once I arrived home and told her what happened.

"I could have ruined my engine, I had no oil in the car," I said.

"Don't you have the gas attendant check your oil every time you get gas?" asked my mom. "I always used to have the oil checked...all the time,all the time," she said. "Judi, why don't you have your oil checked?"

I proceeded to tell my mom that these days I'm lucky if the gas attendant pumps gas into my car. They don't wash windows or check oil. Maybe they did 20 years ago when my dad was alive, but not any more.

"You're right," I replied. "You are absolutely right. I will always check my oil from now on," I answered as a dutiful fiftysomething daughter should answer her mom.

The Honda service rep called this morning. "Good news,no engine damage," he said, "Your oil gasket was loose and we fixed it, changed the oil, put a few hoses in and your cars running like new."

"Aaaaaaaaah,Ommmmmmmm,Aaaaaaaaah,Ommmmmmmmmm," I clasped my hands in namaste prayer and breathed a big sigh of relief. My car's engine is safe and sound and still running.

And so am I.

Judi

Knishes and Skee Ball

I went to see Billy Crystal's show '700 Sundays' this weekend (courtesy of my boyfriend L...thank you L, you are so sweet to have taken me to such a wonderful show). And it was truly wonderful. It was all about Billy's 700 Sundays with his dad and all about his crazy Jewish family.

Since Billy grew up in the Bronx and Long Beach, NY (primarily Long Beach), I could totally identify with him - so much, so much - even though he is about 10 years older than me. There were many comical jokes and vignettes. It made me want to go back to the Long Beach boardwalk where, like Billy, I spent many a summer in the 60s.

It's amazing how 40+ years have passed, but I can still close my eyes and picture my Long Beach summers:

- I remember the fabulous knishes from Izzy's Knishes. Izzy made the absolutely BEST knishes. I remember the cherry cheese knishes - they were my favorite. My dad loved the kasha knishes and the potato knishes were pretty good too. These knishes weren't your square boring potato knishes that you find in the supermarket today, not like the big round knishes at NY delis either. No, Izzy's knishes were rectangular and melted in your mouth. Ooh, I wish I could have a warm cherry cheese knish from Izzy's Knishes RIGHT NOW!

- I remember the lemon water ices from Kalin's ice and custard stand. I liked the rainbow ices too. I would lick the ices and in the warm summer nights the ice would melt all over my hands because the pleated white cups they were in would get all soft and leak. Then I'd have to find a water fountain to wash my sticky hands that were all full of sugar water. I still loved getting ices.

- I remember the skee ball at Faber's Arcade. I loved to play skee ball (even though I wasn't very good at skee ball) and collect the tickets all summer long so I could redeem them for a silly prize like a set of jacks or a small stuffed animal. I never had enough tickets for one of those large stuffed animals.

- I loved to go on the rides too. Oh, how I loved when my relatives visited on Saturday nights and we walked on the boardwalk and my mom and dad let my cousins and my sister and me go on the rides near the amusement area. I remember the little boats that we climbed into - each of us had a seat - and the boats went round and round. I always wanted to go again, and again, but we had just a few tickets and had to pick and choose our rides very carefully. The ferris wheel was fun too, except when I got stuck on the top because they had to let someone off at the bottom. That was very, very scary.

- I remember eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on the beach. Or should I say, peanut butter, jelly and sand sandwiches on the beach? They were the best kind of sandwiches, squishy and flat from the heat on what sometimes appeared to be purple Wonder bread from all the Welches grape jelly that had soaked through the white bread.

- I remember my mom basking in the sun (unfortunately no one knew about SPF in those days and later in life my mom ended up with melanoma). I remember my dad loading on Bain de Soliel suntan lotion - sometimes he looked like he was lit up with orange grease.

Yes, those were the good old summer days. I may have to take a trip back to Long Beach, NY sometime. Although, I doubt it will be the same now that I'm fiftysomething. But, if I could find knishes like Izzy made...well it might get darn close.

Judi

Getting Ready for the Next Phase of My Life

Fall started last week. I can tell the fall season is here. The leaves are falling. Yes, the leaves are falling all over my lawn. The squirrels are climbing on my trees and chewing up the acorns and the branches of the trees are falling too. The branches are falling all over my lawn too.

I used to run out and pick up all the leaves and branches, but this year I'm too busy getting my house ready for fall. I have my new roof, my new heater. Soon I will have my new garage door and garage door opener. And the foundation work will eventually be fixed as well. And then I'll fix the deck after the contractors pull up the deck boards when they reinforce the foundation in the back wall.

Maybe once I finish investing the rest of what seems like half my savings into my house, it will be time to move on. Yes, maybe once I accomplish the other 13 - 20 items on the 'before I sell my house list' it will be time to move on...to move on and move out and really start the next phase of my fiftysomething life.

Am I scared to move on? Yes, yes, yes. No, no, no, no. (I count three yes's and four no's. The no's win.)

Am I ready to move on? No,no,no. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. (I count three no's and five yes's. The yes's win.)

"But you can't move now?" said my son. "You don't want to move now," said my daughter. "It's not a good time to move now," said my mom, "the housing market is depressed." (Sounds like three 'no' votes to me?)

Can I empower myself and make it happen? Yes, yes, yes, yes. No,no. Yes, yes, yes. No, no. (Let's see. That's seven yes's and four no's. The yes's win again.)

What will it take for me to empower myself and make it happen? A little push? No, no, no. (Three no's this time. Uh, oh.)

A BIG SHOVE? Yes, yes, yes. (Three yes's. Shoving it is.)

Can I let go of the smell that lingers in my late husband's closet? Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. (Three yes's and two no's. The yes's win.)

"It's almost two years since your husband passed away," said a friend, "It's time to let go and get ready for the next phase of your life." (Another 'yes.')

I did some fall cleaning last week. I cleaned out the last few clothes that have been hanging in my late husband's closet...the clothes that I wasn't ready to give away two years ago. (Okay, I left a few old Yankee tees to give to my son...and possibly my grandson if I ever have one. And I will be sure to pack them away when I eventually pack up the rest of my boxes for a potential move.)

It's fall and the leaves are falling and I'm getting closer to getting ready to move on to the next phase of my life. I even went online last night and took a peek at some townhouses. I found one that had a BIG JACUZZI BATHTUB. Ooh, ahh, ooh, ahh. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. (I count five yes's and two oohs, and two ahhs.)

Sounds to me like I'm getting pretty close to moving ahead? But, songwriter Phyllis Molinary's words say it best:


"I had my share, I drank my fill
And even though I'm satisfied, I'm hungry still
To see what's down another road, beyond a hill
And do it all again"

Do you know what? My favorite Barbara just recorded this song for her new album. OMG. Take a listen, I think she is singing "Here's to Life" to me. Oh, Barbara even though you did not invite me to the Village Vanguard the other night to hear you sing, I forgive you and I will still buy your new album because I just LOVE this song.

Judi

I've Got The Power

I saw Suze Orman speak last week at the Pennsylvania Governor's Conference for Women. I had never heard Suze Orman speak before. Never read any of her books. Never watched her television show. But, after one presentation I was hooked. She was so motivating, especially to women...and not just young women...but women of all ages.

As Suze said, "we get better with age." According to Suze, the average talk show host is 57 years old. (Does that mean I still have six more years to become a talk show host? Maybe once I write my book and become famous then I can become a talk show host. Maybe if I write my book and then have a talk show, I can invite Richard Gere as a guest. Ooh, that sounds like good motivation to get my book out of draft mode and into serious edit mode.)

What else did Suze say to the thousands of women who attended the conference? She had a lot more advice:

- Suze says that "the only thing that keeps us down is the ability to believe in ourselves." (Sometimes, okay oftentimes, I don't believe in myself. But, I'm getting better at believing...especially since I turned the BIG 50. It was like I hit a magic number that changed my 'believing' genes.)

- Suze says that "women take care of everyone and everything except ourselves." (Suze is sooooooooo right on this point. I do take care of everyone...always thinking of everyone first, especially my kids - even though they should be taking care of themselves now that they are all grown up. And I do take care of everything - my house is a really BIG EVERYTHING lately. I have to start refocusing on me.)

- Suze says that "you have to learn to give to yourself as much as you give to others." (Suze is right again. So glad I took time out for myself last Sunday afternoon and went to Lord & Taylor to purchase another pair of my favorite Not Your Daughter's Jeans. I also tried to purchase a leopard belt so I would be trendy for the first day of fall, which is today, but they didn't have any leopard belts in my size. I will just have to take more 'timeouts for me' and keep hunting for my leopard belt.)

- Suze says "Power attracts money and when you are powerlessness you repel money." She says that "Power attracts people. People control money. Power attracts money." (Suze is right again. Now I just have to practice exuding more power when I walk into a room, just like Suze says. Then maybe I will attract more money.)

- Suze says that "fear, shame and anger are three obstacles to power and money." (Yes, yes, and yes - I carry all those emotions and they do weigh me down.)

- Suze says that "we say no to ourselves, but yes to others including yes to our kids, our spouses, our coworkers. What we think, what we feel, what we do, must all be aligned." (I agree with Suze. However, sometimes what I think and feel don't always match up with what I do. Note to self to practice this alignment. Wonder if yoga will help with my alignment?)

- Suze says that "the economy is no excuse for who we believe we are." (So who else should I blame if not the economy that has drained out my 401K and other assets?)

According to Suze, there are key things I should be doing with the money I am making...and they are:

1. Have an eight month emergency fund. (I agree and I do.)

2. Get out of credit card debt. (I agree. No debt for me.)

3. Save for retirement and sign up for your company's 401K, especially if they have a match. (I agree and I did.)

4. Have a will and trust. (Yes, yes, I do, I do.)

5. Tell your children 'no,' save more for retirement instead of putting more money in a 529 account to pay for all their college expenses. (Okay, I don't want to talk about this step right now...especially since my son seems to be so happy in NYC even though it is costing me mega bucks to send him to college.)

"People first, powerful people first, then money, then things we need and want," Suze says.

Ooh Suze, ooh Suze...you are so motivating. I've got the power to be powerful, to attract people, to attract money. I do. I do. Well, at least right now I do believe I have the power. But, how can I ensure that this feeling doesn't diminish?

Ooh, maybe I should post your words up under my bathroom lights so I can read them every morning when I put on my makeup and lipstick before I leave the house for work. Yes, yes, yes, that's exactly what I think I'll do.

Judi