Let's Get Physical

I went to the cardiologist this week for my six month check up. My cholesterol is pretty good (under 200), my triglycerides are low, my LDL is a tad high, and so is my HDL. "Stay on the Zetia," said my cardiologist, "and keep up the cardio workouts."

"Okay, okay," I said. "I will keep up my exercise," I promised to keep up my cardio workouts as I left the office.

Unfortunately, I wasn't doing any cardio exercise. Not since I left the spa in January, the fabulous Miraval Spa in Tucson, and not much before that either.

"I can change, I can do more cardio workouts" I said to my 50-something body. And so I did.

Yes, this week I decided to get more physical. I decided to leave the disappointing manhunt, the sad soulmate search, the laggard lads on Jdate to rest for awhile, and put some punch into my life with a more robust exercise routine.

Monday I tried a new class at the gym. How excited I was to find out that my gym offered Zumba classes, just like the high energy Latin dance class at the fabulous Miraval Spa. There were mostly regulars in the Monday evening class so the teacher didn't announce all the moves. It was difficult to keep up with the "Latin Lover" music, but I did a pretty good job of maintaining pace with my fellow Zumba sisters. Many of my Zumba sisters looked just like me. A few were older and a few were younger. We all danced to the beat, our bottoms jiggled and so did our tummies and hips.

I returned to the gym on Tuesday evening. Who needs a man when I have a treadmill and weight machines. I lifted those weights and I walked up a storm as Coldplay's Viva la Vida played on my iPod Touch. While I wasn't "ruling the world" as the song says, I was definitely working my 50-something body. Whooooah, whoooah, as I sang with the chorus, I was getting physical.

Wednesday I got home early and off I went to Zumba. "You're back," said the teacher. "Yes, I am," I replied as I got ready to do my workout. Twist, turn, left, right, went my arms and legs, hips and abs.

Next up, was yoga. I can't miss my Wednesday night yoga class. No I cannot. Soooooo, off I went to yoga.

'Rejoice,' that was the word on my Zen card as I selected the card from the deck. I stared at 'rejoice' every time I did my plank position (which I am proud to say I am able to stay in for a minute or so without having my bottom sag).

Despite the fact that I don't have a male companion in my life right now.

Despite the fact that the stock market keeps tanking every day (or almost every day) and my stocks and 401K are in the bottom of the tank along with everyone else's investments.

I thought about all the reasons why I should 'rejoice.' (It was amazing that I was able to stay in plank position, keep breathing and think all at the same time, truly amazing. What a 'get physical' girl I am.)

First, I should 'rejoice' because I am healthy and though no longer wealthy, I am still wise.

Secondly, I have two terrific kids, fantastic friends, a wonderful mom and extended family.

Third, I have a house over my head (and it is not under foreclosure like many others in the country) and a good job.

Fourth, there are less than 25 days left until the first day of spring and then it will start to get warmer and I will be all physically fit by then.

Finally, there are about 120 days left (and I'm counting) until the first day of summer. Then it will be really warm and I can enjoy my condo on the corner at the beach again. And, I will be in even better physical shape by then (good thing I am getting physical now since soon I will have to try on bathing suits. Ouch!)

As I lied in stillness at the end of yoga class on Wednesday evening, the end of what felt like a week to date of very physical work, I listened intently to the closing quote the teacher read from Albert Einstein.

"Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted."


What a smart man that Albert Einstein was. Wish I could find a smart and talented soulmate like Albert. Wonder if he has any great great single grandsons who might be looking for a soulmate.

Judi

Oh Flo-ree-da

I'm back from sunny Florida. I'm back from my Valentine visit to mom. And what a lovely visit it was. I'm back in cold New Jersey...cold, cold New Jersey and wishing I was still in warm, sunny Flo-ree-da.

This was my second Valentine's Day without my soulmate. My second Valentine's Day without my late husband to shower with hugs and kisses. I was sad, but I was glad to spend last Saturday with my mom in warm, sunny Flo-ree-da. She made a Valentine brisket for me with sweet potatoes on the side, not the standard Veal and Peppers that she puts on the menu when I usually visit. This time it was a well-cooked brisket. And we even had Publix sherbet for dessert. Then we watched an old black and white movie with William Holden and Jennifer Jones on TMC. It was good to have a black and white movie, especially since my mom's old television set likes to lose it's color every so often.

Sunday we went on our first shopping expedition to one of my mom's favorite marts. (No, not Wal-Mart, that store is too big for my mom.) We went to Steinmart. Mom is always hunting for some new article of clothing. This time it was beige pants, not too long and not too short, with some elastic around the waist, but not around the entire waistband, deep pockets on either side, and light-weight cotton or cotton/poly fabric. (Did you get all those requirements? Should I repeat those requirements?) We hunted through all the racks until we found a few pairs of pants to try on. (Whew, what a job, about an hour's worth of work.) We went in the one handicapped dressing room so mom could sit down. However, it was quite difficult for her to get up and down to try on pants. I found out that handicapped dressing rooms are really not well-designed for handicapped people who use walkers. These stores better shape up. Do they know that there are millions of baby boomer women waiting in the wings who will likely be needing more handicapped dressing rooms a few decades from now?

Next stop was Panera bread for lunch and then off to the movies. My mom wanted to see The Reader (Excellent movie, quite intense, but I do hope dear Kate Winslet wins the Oscar for Best Actress. She was amazing as the female lead.) Excuse me, did you ask if we got lost trying to find the movie theatre even though we left lots of extra time to get there since we knew it was further away? Yes, yes, yes, we got lost. Thank goodness the stars were aligned and we found Pine Island Road before the sun set and made our way to the Sunrise movie theatre and were in our seats almost 10 minutes before the movie started. (My mom and I are just two cool, calm, and collected chicks who know how to get around Flo-ree-da.)

Monday was another warm, sunny day. Off to the pool we went after our lox and bagel breakfast and my extra large Dunkin Donuts decaf iced coffee with skim milk (which I usually treat myself to after my morning walks in Flo-ree-da). I swam for a bit in the 87 degree heated pool, read my March fashion issue of InStyle (will tell you all about the spring 2009 fashions in a future blog post, although as a preview, I dare say there were not many exciting spring styles for my 50+ baby boomer body.)

After sunning ourselves, we were off on our second shopping expedition. This time to another one of my mom's favorite marts. Yes, off to Kmart we went to find a pair of beige pants (I won't give you the details on the pants, just refer back to the previous Steinmart paragraph and you'll get the picture.) At Kmart, we also hunted for tops to match the potential beige pants. After trying on another four pairs of beige pants (none fit) and three tops, we finally made a purchase (yeah, yeah, yeah) of a blue tee-shirt (which was almost the same exact color blue tee-shirt that I bought for mom when I visited last November) and a striped button-down shirt. (I also learned that it is not easy for elderly women with arthritis to button a button-down shirt. Does Jacklyn Smith, who designs for Kmart, know that there are millions of baby boomer women waiting in the wings who will likely not be able to button button-down shirts in a few decades from now? Maybe I will write a letter to Kmart and let Jacklyn Smith know about this dilemma.)

We finished off Monday with dinner at a Chinese restaurant with several boxes of leftovers for mom's refrigerator. I was pleased to know she would have enough food for a few more dinners during the week, before I left for my business trip to Boca Raton on Tuesday.

I called my mom when I returned home the other day.

"I miss you," she said.

"I miss you too," I said.

While I didn't get any red roses this Valentine's Day, I couldn't have asked for a more inspirational partner to spend my Valentine weekend with. I do love my mom. How much do I love my mom? I love her SO MUCH that I can't wait for my next visit to Flo-ree-da. Next time, maybe next time, we may even get lucky and find that elusive pair of beige pants in Flo-ree-da. If not, there will likely be another article of clothing on my mom's list that we will have to go shopping for. Oh, Flo-ree-da, oh Flo-ree-da, oh how I do love the marts in Flo-ree-da.

Judi

Dating Tips

Okay, okay, okay. I can't help myself. I know I told myself I would not blog about my attempt at dating. But, I can't help myself. There is just too much good blogging material not to blog about it...and I've only had four dates. Well, actually I wouldn't say four full dates. Maybe 3.5 dates, as the last one I walked out on.

And I already have some tips for my fellow single female boomers who are new to dating at 50+, women like me who have decided to think about venturing out with the opposite sex like I did the past month. This is harder work than I thought. I have to think about what I want in a new mate, think about what I don't want in a new mate, write all this stuff down, go out and hunt through all the online sites and profiles, say 'no' to those who contact me that I'm not interested in, contact those I might be interested in, figure out if, as they say in the movie, if "he's just not into you" or as the book that one of my lifelines gave me last week says, "be honest - You're Not That Into Him Either."

This week, I think I am aiming more towards getting a dog than getting a new man in my life. First of all, a small dog is cuter. Secondly, a small dog will love me during my up and down days and will be there when I get home at night to greet me with hopefully a warm welcome. Even if I do have to walk and groom my small dog, he or she will be worth the effort. However, I will have to think about a dog walker for the day time hours. (Note: I'm not saying I am definitely getting a dog, but it is more likely that I will find a cute dog on Petfinder.com than find a compatible man on jDate.)

Okay, okay, okay, so what dating tips do I have to share to date? I am so glad I have my many lifelines who have been giving me wise counsel along the way. They are such supportive friends and truly have helped me through my 3.5 dates.

First tip - what do you eat if you are going out to an Indian restaurant on a first date and all you've eaten all day is two Kashi flaxseed bars and you don't want to spend the evening in the bathroom. As my lifeline told me 20 minutes before my date, "Eat biryani Judi, remember 'beer' and remember the singer 'Yanni'" Oh, thank you dear lifeline...you did save my life. When my date asked me what I was going to eat, I said "Biryani, a rice dish." But, when he decided to order a spicy appetizer, I wasn't sure what to do. I hadn't asked my lifeline about appetizers. "Just order lots of flatbread," I thought...and I'll be fine.

Second tip - what do you do if you are ready to go out on a date and the guy keeps calling that he is going to be late? Add on that you are soooo hungry because you haven't really eaten since breakfast and you are at your condo on the corner at the shore where you have absolutely no food in the house except peanut butter. What do you do? What do you do? I'll tell you what to do. You drive to theWawa down the street and buy a loaf of Martin's potato bread and a jar of strawberry jam and you come home and make yourself a peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwich.

Third tip - what do you do if you meet a guy for coffee on a Sunday morning and he is an ex-hippie who is now 60+ years old but still living like he was in the '60s (except he does have short hair now) and talks to you about his LSD escapades that he did in the early '70s on his farm. What do you do, what do you do? You make sure you first go to your fantastic Sunday morning yoga class and make sure you are very Zen when you go to meet this ex-hippie. Then you order a Starbucks grande vanilla latte skim decaf (so you stay very Zen) and a nice blueberry scone. You eat the blueberry scone and drink your grande vanilla latte skim decaf. And when you are done with your last sip, and you are done trying to convince the ex-hippie that LSD is indeed a drug even though he disagrees. What do you do, what do you do? You get up, you say 'nice to meet you,' and you leave.

Last week, I went to see the movie "Last Chance Harvey" with Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson. I thought with all this talk about dating, I would share Emma Thompson's blog about this lovely movie where a boomer man meets a boomer woman in an airport and falls in love. Does this only happen in the movies? (Absolutely, only in the movies.) Here's Emma's blog post:

Dear Fellow Females – I’ve been asked to offer a blog on my new film, ‘Last Chance Harvey’ – which, as a computer illiterate, I get confused with ‘snog’ (British slang for kissing) and ‘shog’ (Shakespearian word used by Pistol in Henry V meaning ‘leave’) neither of which - I realise - is the correct interpretation.

But it is a comment, or view, I think, that you want, and here it is –

I shall turn 50 this year, which is not without its odd emotions and has got me thinking about being, well, old. I don’t mean decrepit, I mean not infantile, no longer so attached to things, no longer so concerned about what others think, no longer so anxious to prove myself – you may know the sort of thing I mean. It was rather a treat, therefore, to play what is – in a way – my first modern romantic lead in a film that is more romantic than comic (although it has very funny moments and is underscored with irony and subtle humour throughout) where I was not required to be stunningly attractive or in despair or in need of rescue, but simply an ordinary woman in her forties living a rather stale-looking life as best she can.

Along comes this rather brash American (Dustin) and he blows a great hole in her defenses (don’t you think we all build them for various stages in life and then FORGET TO DISMANTLE THEM when the danger is past or the trauma has been lived through?). So what you are watching is a sudden flood of real communication (how rare is that?), the sort of communication that shifts the emotional tectonic plates and provokes seismic movement in the soul.

Again, it’s rare to watch this on the screen because you need to be a little thoughtful and not require explosions of the literal kind to keep you interested. I’d guess that’s a fair description of us.

If you see the picture, and I hope you will because I love it very much and am moved by it every time I see it, you’ll notice I am decidedly unglamorous and at least size 16. I really wanted to look like a “normal” woman, I mean in terms of body size.

Actresses seem to be getting tinier and tinier and I do wonder how we think we can present really powerful women, matriarchs and the like, when we seem to insist upon having such attenuated physiques.

So Kate is solid – probably worries a bit about her muffin-top (mine is more like a desk-top these days if you must know) but can’t find the energy to worry enough to go to the gym and can’t find the time either.

She’s a real sort of person, someone I could relate to entirely and I hope you enjoy her. If you do, tell your friends because the more we can get films like this well distributed the more films we can make about (for want of a better epithet) real women as opposed to (let’s face it) pretend ones.

Warmest wishes to you all for 2009 from Emma Thompson, a first time blogger at fifty

It's Valentine's Day the end of this week. I'm not going on any dates. I'm going to visit my mom for Valentine's Day. I don't think we will be going out for any early bird dinners on Saturday. It will likely be crowded with couples at all the restaurants in Florida. Maybe I will take her to see "Last Chance Harvey." I do think she will like the movie.

My 87 year old mom...or mum as Emma would likely say in England...thinks I should be dating younger men. "Women live longer than men," said my mom. "Aim younger, Judi, and don't take all this dating so seriously." I'm so glad I'm spending Valentine's Day with my mom, she is one of the wisest women I know.

Judi

More Miraval Memories

As I sit and stare out my window and look at all the snow piling up on my driveway, I am trying to savor my memories of Miraval...my wonderful spa trip to Miraval...oh, how I loved Tucson. Please put me back on the plane to sunny Tucson...I want to go back.

Luckily, I bought a canister of the fragrant Miraval Citrus Hibiscus Tea...the tea that I sipped each evening with my lowfat dessert. Yes, the dinners were delicious and all low calorie such as, Adobe Chicken, Steak with Edamame Guacamole, Sea Bass with Sobe Noodles - the seasonings were sensational and the entrees changed every night. Desserts, on the other hand, desserts stayed the same, with one special dessert each night. My favorite dessert was the Vanilla Cheesecake with Ginger Crust and Blueberry Compote.

"How do you make this rich cheesecake so low in fat?" I asked the waitress after each night of dining, "What is the secret ingredient?" I tried to guess. By the end of my stay, after ordering my last piece of cheesecake for dessert, she finally gave in and told me the secret ingredient, "It's tofu," said the waitress, "There is tofu in this lowfat cheesecake." But, she would not give me the recipe. Sooooo, I guess I will definitely have to return to Miraval again if I want to enjoy another piece of my favorite lowfat cheesecake. And I definitely do.

I've also been thinking about my rock climbing adventure. It was one of my challenges. There were three of us in the group. I don't know which was more challenging, belaying my partners (I held on to the rope so tightly I thought I was going to get calluses on my fingers...I didn't let go...not once...I was an excellent belayer) or climbing the wall. When it was my turn to climb, I strapped up my harness, put my helmet on tight, and yelled, "ready to climb." My feet kept me going until I got halfway up the wall and then I froze.

"Keep going," said our instructor, "you can do it...you can climb that wall." I really wanted to make it all the way to the top, but the middle was about as far as I was going to get. I think my legs were tired from the abs class I had been to earlier in the day. And I just could not maneuver my body to the next rock or hole to hold onto.

I was proud of myself for making it halfway up the wall. Sooooo, I guess I will definitely have to return to Miraval again if I want to finish my climbing challenge. And I definitely do.

Next time I will not wimp out...yes, next time I'm going to climb all the way to the TOP! (I actually liked the climbing wall. I thought I would be more fearful of the height, but I was more focused on my legs and making sure they knew where they needed to go at each moment. I told the instructor how scared I was to face this challenge. His words rang true, "to conquer the challenge all I had to do was clearly focus and have confidence that my legs would take me up the wall...the key was to look down and rely on my legs not my arms to take me higher."

Lastly, I've been pondering all I learned in Shelly Engle's lecture on "Exploring Your Energetic Pathways." Shelly taught me about the seven chakras in my body. She said that chakras are my seven major energy centers and each one has a different color. Each one impacts my physical and emotional well-being. For the most part, my chakras and colors are in pretty good shape...thankfully...yes, thankfully my chakras are doing pretty well.

However, one or two could use some fixing. I liked Shelly so much that I scheduled a private session with her on my last day at Miraval. I wanted to know how best to address the specific chakras that were bothersome to me. My third chakra (the yellow one) is the chakra that has been most troublesome to me with aging - it's all about personal power, self-esteem and self-worth. Shelly says the symptoms with the third chakra manifest in digestive problems. Is my irritable bowel a result of my powerful or powerless life?

There also is the sixth chakra or should I say my 'third eye' that has been causing a problem of late. When the 'third eye' is having problems, headaches can result. And I have had bad tension headaches. So what is causing my sixth chakra or 'third eye' as it is called to erupt? Shelly says, "I need to look at my life clearly, without denial...that I have to be honest with what I really think...be honest with what is going on with my life and bring to life what I really want and need. And once I do know what I really want, decide how I am going to get it." (Okay, I get it. Yes, I get it. But, I don't like it. Wish I could wish this third eye away...or put my sixth chakra on hold for awhile and address it later...although, it would be nice to get rid of these headaches for good. Note to self: must work on third eye during second half of life...and sooner rather than later.)

I'm going to get a chakra poster and put it up at work and I think I'll get another chakra poster for my home office (the office I'm going to create when I get rid of all my daughter's furniture and buy all my new IKEA furniture...some time in the future.)
I want all my seven chakras to be in unison during my 50+ years.

Chakras are the colors of the rainbow...and I definitely need and want lots of rainbows in my life. What's that song about rainbows. Ah yes, it's from the Wizard of Oz. The movie I hated when I was a kid, the movie that had the scary wicked witch, the witch that likely scared my chakras when I was six or seven and one of the reasons I have problems with certain chakras in my adult life. At least the wicked witch movie had a nice rainbow song. How does that song go...

Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
There's a land that I've heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow blue birds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow
Why oh why can't I?

Judi