Hip and Cool and Growing Older

This week, I was reminded twice, during two different meetings at work that, while I may think I am hip and cool, (and some of my twenty-something friends and colleagues will say that I am hip and cool), I am growing older.

Yes, despite the constant attention to my wrinkle creams and my exercise (or lack of it these days), I am indeed still growing older.

I was reminded of that fact during two separate occasions this past week.

First, was during a dialogue at a monthly book club meeting. It was an inter generational group at work. We were having a discussion about the book, "You Just Don't Understand, Women and Men in Conversation" by linguist professor Dr. Deborah Tannen. The book was written in 1990, and I agreed with the others in my group that much has changed for women (and for men) in the almost past 20 years since the book was written.

I felt comfortable as we answered questions about the different chapters, until one of the thirty-something women in the group looked at me and said, "what about YOUR generation, it must be different for YOUR generation of women."

At first, I looked surprised. Was she talking to me? I suddenly felt like I had a tattoo on my face that said YOUR generation on it and that MY generation was no longer hip and cool.

Was I going to have to tell my age, was I going to have to admit that I was of the OLDER generation she was referring to? Was I going to have to come right out and say that okay "YES I AM THE OLDEST PERSON IN THE ROOM?" (Even though 50 is the new 30, so I could have said I am the same age as her if I wanted to...but I didn't.)

"Yes, I am 51, five zero plus one," I said proudly. "Much has changed, but I cannot speak for MY entire generation of baby boomer women."

Later in the week, it happened again. I was in a meeting making a presentation about social networking and MY generation became the focal point of discussion again. "OUR generation just doesn't utilize technology like the younger generation does," said a fellow baby boomer colleague. I wanted to take offense, I wanted to scream and shout that OUR generation is hip and cool and is comfortable with social media. I wanted to say that I read in a recent article that OUR generation is joining Facebook at a faster pace than Gen X or Y.

But, then I thought about my new Kindle sitting in the box in my closet that I haven't opened yet.

And I thought about how long it takes me to text a message compared to my Gen Y son and daughter

And I thought about how I still cannot figure out how to work my DVD player in my bedroom, let alone a potential DVR machine (a machine that I don't even own, but a machine that ALL my Gen Y colleagues own).

And I started to think, I am growing older...I am, yes MY generation is getting older.

But then, then I opened up my favorite NY Times newspaper (the hard copy newspaper that I read every day...the newspaper that gets newsprint all over my 51 year old hands each and every day) and I read the Advertising article in the Business Section. "The Older Audience is Looking Better Than Ever," wrote Stuart Elliott. (I like Stuart, he is sooooo smart.) He made me feel better. Here's what Stuart said and others in the article had to say about MY generation:

- "The estimated 78 million people born from 1946 to 1964 - who have long set the agenda for Madison Avenue because of their numbers - are aging." (Yes, yes, we are getting older.)

- According to Mr. Andy Donchin, director for media investments at Carat, an agency of the Aegis Group, "this country is aging, and the boomers are an attractive demographic...and the boomers are even comfortable with digital media" (I like Andy, he is soooooo smart too.)

- "The boomers offer advertisers 'an audience that has assets not allowances'," said Henry Schleiff, president and chief executive at Hallmark Channels. (Oh, Henry, I love this quote.)

- "The changing of the guard among older consumers is even becoming part of the popular culture," added Mr. Donchin, citing television shows about 'cougars,' older women who pursue younger men." (Not that I am pursuing younger men in the dating scene, but my Gen Y son did say I was looking all grown up the other week as he checked out my hip and cool outfit before I left for my date.)

As I ended the week at a dinner for my fabulous looking, soon to be 60 year old sister-in-law, I felt much better about getting older than I did when the week began. What incredible baby boomer women we all were sitting around the long table with white linens - all 15 of us,(most 50 - 60+ years old) dining on real filet mignon at a real steak house. It was a great evening.

Think this blog post calls for a quote from my favorite Cosmo Girl, Helen Gurley Brown. As Helen says,

“After you're older, two things are possibly more important than any others: health and money.”

Helen is so smart, always was and always will be one of my favorite editors. Think I will have to read her new biography, "Bad Girls Go Everywhere."

Judi

Skin Tight

Must say that my face was looking pretty good this past weekend. The skin tight facial mask that my esthetician D put on my face during my monthly facial last Friday afternoon really did the trick. I could not move my face for a few minutes, but it did tighten my skin. D said it would make my skin look 20 years younger. I do love D and I do love her facials. She is such a smart esthetiian. She knows exactly what my 50+ year old face needs.

Although, it may not just be the facials that are improving my skin's appearance. Perhaps, it is the new Olay Pro-X skincare line that is transforming my skin. It did say that it is guaranteed to work or I get my money back in 28 days. Only thing is, I cannot remember when I started using this skincare line. I was hunting for my receipt and I think I threw it out. Oh no, oh no, oh no.

I think it was about 14 days ago that I started the Olay Pro-X treaments. (I guess that I'm about halfway through my skin enhancing protocol because I have half a jar of the night cream left.)

I am using all three creams religiously - day and night. I am the exact consumer Procter and Gamble is looking for - I traded down from my Estee Lauder cream. Yes, instead of going to Macy's to purchase my Estee Lauder face cream ,I became an Estee trader. (I do feel guilty. I'm sorry Estee, I'm so sorry.) I did exactly what Procter and Gamble wanted me to do, I traded down.

But, Estee, ProX is "clinically proven to re-signal skin to perform more like it did when it was younger." So, of course, I had to try this new skincare line. It is supposed to increase my surface turnover and repair the moisture barrier (Lord knows with all the rain this week, I likely have more moisture on my face than I need.) The brochure says that 'these skin improvements have been clinically tested by independent dermatologists in partnership with the Olay Professional Alliance for Skincare Innovation (wonder who exactly this alliance is).

I bought the starter kit for $60. My AM Regimen (as Olay calls it) includes two steps. First I apply the Eye Restoration Complex (just a little itty-bitty dab) around my eyes and then I apply the Age Repair Lotion with SPF 30(glad this cream includes protection from the sun...now if the sun decides it wants to shine again after all this rain this week, I will be very happy that my face has protection. D said I should be sure to wear enough sunscreen this summer because I am starting to have a bit of dark pigment on my cheek and it will start showing up more if I don't protect myself. Uh oh!)

At night, I do the PM Regimen. First I apply the Eye Restoration Complex around my eyes again and then I apply the Wrinkle Smoothing Cream. I was supposed to see changes after the first use, but I forgot to look. (I am too tired at night to examine my skin.) And then I was supposed to see more changes after the first week. I don't think I looked then either. By now my skin should be:

- more hydrated
- protected from the sun's harmful rays
- smoother and with increased exfoliation cycle
- and my dark circles and puffiness should be diminished with every use

By week 4, I am supposed to see ALL the changes taking place. If I'm counting correctly, I have two more weeks to go. I will have to mark my calendar and remember to look at my face more closely. (Perhaps I should put a Post-It Note with the date on my bathroom mirror. Yes, that is a good idea.) I have two more weeks to go and then it says my face will look even better:

- my crow's feet should be less visible
- my skin's moisture barrier should be improved
- and my fine line and wrinkle depth should be reduced

Wow, all for only $60. Who needs a facelift when I can be skin tight in 4 weeks. I guess I will continue this daily day and night regimen another 2 weeks and see if I stay an Estee trader. I have nothing to lose, except some more of my wrinkles. And if I don't like what I see in the mirror after 4 weeks are up, I get my money back!

Judi

Off and Riding

I cannot believe that this week is almost gone. Time does fly when I'm having fun (and when I am busy working, working, working too and blogging too, and talking to my great friends too, busy, busy, busy). I did have fun this past weekend at my condo on the corner at the beach. I just wish it stayed warm this week like it was this past Sunday when I went riding...riding on my bicycle.

This past Sunday, when the weather warmed up and the sun was shining bright, I decided to take my bicycle out for a long ride (long on my watch is about 4-5 miles). On Saturday, I had gone to Target to purchase a new bicycle pump. My 50+ brain spent what felt like 50 minutes reviewing all the different bicycle pumps that were available for purchase. Should I buy a hand pump or a foot pump? I already had an old foot pump, so I decided to get the fancy Schwinn hand pump.

Well, well, well, lucky for me I did not throw out my old foot pump or I would have had some flat tires to ride on...because, because, because...I could not get my fancy new Schwinn air pump to work. No matter how much I tried, I just could not get air in my bicycle tires. And I didn't want to spend half the day trying. (I knew I should have purchased the Schwinn foot pump, but I was was ready to try something new. Sometimes as they say, it pays to stick with what you are most familiar with.)

Finally with foot pumped air in my tires, I was off and riding. Free and easy, I rode to the end of the island and sat and meditated as I looked out on the sparkling ocean. It was so peaceful, so serene, so relaxing.

Then my stomach began to growl. (I was ready for my stop at my favorite bagel shop...I was ready to go back to my condo and have my breakfast.) It was time to start my pedal pumping again. And as I got back on the bike, a lovely biker woman approached.

"Do you ride much?" she asked. "Oh, I love to ride," I said. "I'm D," she said, "welcome to the island." "If you like to ride, there are a bunch of mature women who ride the 13 mile route around the island, you should join us on weekends in the summer." (Me, was she talking to me? Did I look like a fabulous fitness cyclist ready to bike a 13 mile route? Could I do it? Could I become a real cyclist in my 50+ years? I don't even own a helmet. Since D was wearing a helmet and cycling pants I knew I would have to spruce up my cycling attire if I was going to join her women's riding club.)

D rode with me to the bagel shop and we talked about our life, exchanged numbers and emails and then said our goodbyes. I left feeling excited about the prospects of a summer with some new riding buddies of mature women (D was definitely younger than me, but she mentioned an older widow cyclist who was part of the group who sold her house when she became a widow and rode around the world to heal and find herself. Not that I am that adventurous a widow, but I am looking forward to meeting a widow who is such an adventurer.)

With my bagel with low fat cream cheese in tow, I headed home. I took a different route closer to the beach. I passed my dream house. The house that I once looked at during an open house. The house that has a fabulous kitchen with sparkling blue granite counter tops. The house that has an outside deck with a winding staircase entrance and a view of the ocean. (Yes, it is still for sale. Maybe one day I'll become a bestselling author and buy that million dollar house...it was such a beautiful day so I kept dreaming as I rode home...dreaming doesn't cost anything I thought to myself...I can dream if I want to.)

As I passed my dream house I realized that my raisin bagel with low fat cream cheese was no longer in tow...I was so busy dreaming about my dream house that I hadn't realized that my bagel had fallen out of its brown bag. Oh, where, oh where had my bagel gone? (Serves me right for day dreaming!) I turned around and put my pedal to the medal and found my bagel. There it was...all wrapped up, sitting perfectly still in the middle of the road, just a few steps away. Ah, I still had my breakfast. What a lucky day. I picked up my bagel and I was on my way. (When I get my new cycling wardrobe, I'm also going to see if I can purchase a biker bagel bag. I don't ever want to drop my breakfast again.)

Breakfast bagel, coffee, and a last view of the ocean and I was back in my car this time driving home. It had been a lovely day. A superb weekend. And as neared my house, as I drove down my block, it was like Spring had sprung overnight. The cherry blossom trees on my block were in bloom, the weeping willow tree was fully weeping, and the daffodils had popped on a neighbor's lawn nearby.

I was so happy to see that Spring had arrived. Hopefully, my new mountain bicycle that I finally ordered for my anniversary gift from work will arrive soon too. Then I'll be off and riding again with a new bike, a new bike pump (I'm determined to get this pump to work on my new bike), and eventually a new pair of biker shorts with padding for my 50+ biker backside. Ah, yes, and a new helmet too (hopefully there are lightweight helmets available since I don't like having helmet head hair).

My 2009 summer goal: 13 miles around the island. I can do it. Yes, this 50+ body and backside are rearing to go. Let it ride!

Judi

A Flip Flop Week

I missed my blogging earlier this week. I was too busy flipping and flopping all week. Some days I was real down and some days I was real up. Some days I was really tired (too tired to write) and some days I was really hyper (like yesterday when I went to the gym at 6:00 pm and did my weights, then went to Zumba to dance the night away and Yoga afterwards to calm my mind).

When I was down, I was really down. I think it was my menopausal cycle. Yes, I think I am a full-fledged menopausal woman. Soon it will be a year since my last menstruation.

I've been reading Susun S. Weed's book called "Menopausal Years - The Wise Woman Way." It is all about alternative approaches for women 30 - 90 (quite a spread).

According to Susun, I can blame my flip flop week on my menopausal changes:

- These changes can cause headaches (I have 'em).

- These changes can cause insomnia (I got it).

- These changes can cause mood swings (Yep, yep, and yep, I had the rage and weep this week. Boy oh boy, did I have the rage and weep. I had a whole lot of rage when I opened up my son's credit card bill. Ooh, ah, ooh, ah - didn't like the dollar signs. And I wept because my husband wasn't here anymore to help me deal with the situation. I decided I was going to take away my son's credit card. Take...it...away...away...away. Yes, I was going to finally take the credit card away so that I would no longer have to go through my credit card rage again next month or the month after. Of course, I agonized over the timing and the who, what, where, when, why saga of the exact words I was going to say to my son. I spent two more days raging and weeping.)

- These changes can cause digestive distress. Susun says that menopausal constipation and indigestion are generally due to the slowing of the gastrointestinal tract, (that estrogen is a gastrointestinal stimulant) and heavy demands on the liver. (I've been eating my share of fiber and this week I even ate a few high fiber bars with flaxseed...but nothing worked.)

-These changes can cause weight gain. (I bought M&Ms this week. Almond M&Ms with raspberry flavoring. I knew I should not have bought M&Ms, but it was during my rage and weep days. On went the few extra pounds - luckily the box wasn't that big.)

- These changes can cause EMOTIONAL UPROAR. And as I raged and wept some more (one of my cyclamen plants died earlier in the week after I just bought it...so I cried that I had lost my green thumb...not that I really had a great green thumb...but I thought my thumb had potential to be green because of the health of my other plants...so I cried at the potential loss of this potential), suddenly, suddenly the SUN appeared and I got some SLEEP and my menopausal emotions turned blissful.

Yes, there were some blissful moments this week...

- Like when I wore my new fabulous Adrienne Vittadini buttercup jacket over my black pants and black teeshirt. The best part was the 10 year old black and buttercup yellow print scarf that I wrapped around my neck, which matched perfectly with the entire outfit and my highlighted hair. It added so much to my fashionista moment and to my blissfulness. (So glad I saved myself a few months ago when I was thinking about throwing out that old scarf because I didn't have anything to wear it with and it was so old...some old accessories are meant to hang in the closet for a reason.)

- Then there was the blissful moment today after my son announced that he had lost his wallet and then announced that he had found his wallet. (Yes, first there was rage, no weeping, just rage when he lost his wallet. But, then there was bliss because it provided me with an excellent moment to elaborate on who, what, where, when, why I was taking his credit card away. And you know what? You...know...what? He agreed with me. Yes, he didn't rage or weep, he agreed with me that it was a good idea. OMG! OMG!)

- Finally, there was my blissful Thursday morning moment today at the dentist's office after my spring teeth cleaning, when I found out I was going to be able to afford a new smile. It was blissful because, because, because, because...when I asked my dentist about fixing my 50+ year old teeth....he said he could do it. He said he could Zoom my teeth to whiten them (at first I thought he said Zumba them and I wondered would Latin dancing whiten my teeth too?), he could replace the old filling in my front tooth and the silver filling in my posterior tooth with white fillings, and he said he could replace my 30 year old discolored front cap on my front tooth with a new veneer - and he said he could do all the work for 20 percent less than the original total. OMG! OMG! I signed up to start the process later this month. "JUST DO IT!" I said with blissful menopausal emotional uproar, "JUST DO IT!"

Yes, this was a week of flipping and flopping. Great downs and great ups. This was a week when I did think my feelings were 'out of proportion' as Susun Weed says a menopausal woman can feel. No wonder I liked Susun's book. As she says:

"Grandmother, what is happening? Everything seems so strange. I thought I was comfortable with myself in many forms, but I don't know who I am any more. What is overcoming me? What am I becoming?"

"Grandmother Growth, if I go with you, if I sing with you, if I ally with your plant friends, will it be an easy journey?"

"Not even I can promise you that, granddaughter. The journey of each woman into and through menopause is unique. If you encounter harsh weather or unexpected setbacks...well, that is the truth of the journey."

Judi

Note: I do not agree or endorse Susun Weed's herbal remedies for menopausal women, but I do like her book.