Fun in Flo-ree-da

I read the other week in the New York Times Health Section (which appears on Tuesdays) that a study found that when stressed out mice take vacations they become less stressed. Soooo, I decided, if a vacation works for little stressed out creatures like mice, perhaps a vacation might help me relax too.

On Tuesday, I boarded the plane for Fort Lauderdale, along with my daughter A (and her Louis Vuitton handbag which does not leave her sight) and son D (and his Blackberry which I think may be permanently part of his right earlobe since he talks to his girlfriend L all the time.), for a week of vacation in Flo-ree-da.

First, I took my kids to see my mom P (their grandmother who had not seen them in almost two years) who lives in Margate and then we spent the second half of our trip in Orlando, since I had a wedding to attend in DisneyWorld.

The Flight
"I can't believe you spent the entire 2.5 hours of the flight reading your Vogue magazine," said son D. "How can anyone spend that much time reading one magazine?"

"You have to understand," I said, "It is the September issue. It's 584 pages of as it says on the cover 'stylish steals & smart splurges + beauty secrets of the season and all the Fall fashion fun.' Plus, I had to read the articles about Jenny Sanford and her husband's 'cheating heart' and Roger Federer, 'the greatest tennis player of all time' and Charlize Theron, who 'always reveals too much.'"

Cover to cover, I covered all 584 pages. So glad the flight took all 2.5 hours.

To Grandmother's House We Go
Grandma P was a bit under the weather, but we had fun. We brought bagels to go along with grandma P's lox and lots of bottled water to keep us hydrated during the hot, hot days at the pool.

"Where do you think we will go for dinner?" said A. "You know grandma, she likes Chinese food and deli."

"Where do you want to go for dinner?" I said to my mom on Tuesday evening.

"Let's see," said P. "Oh, I haven't had Chinese food in a long time. "Can we go have Chinese food?"

A and D were quite surprised to find out that the Chinese restaurant also served sushi, and quite good sushi at that. Grandma P's taste is quite trendy. We left the restaurant with full tummies and lots of leftovers for P's already full refrigerator.

"Where do you want to go for dinner?" I said to my mom on Wednesday evening. (We had plans to go see the Julie and Julia movie that night. We checked the movie times in the paper to make sure the movie was playing in a theatre nearby. The paper said 7:30 pm which was perfect. If we left for dinner at 5:30 pm, it would give us enough time to eat dinner, get lost finding the theatre, and be in our seats for the start of the show.)

"Let's see," said P. "Ooh, I think we should go to TooJays Deli. I have a yen for shrimp salad."

"TooJays it is," I replied. We enjoyed our salads and deli sandwiches and shared some delicious desserts. No leftovers. We all decided that TooJays is feeling the effects of the recession and has definitely cut back on their portion sizes - either that or we were little piggies that night. NO, NO, NO, the portions were DEFINITELY smaller!

Finding Our Way
"Which way do we go," I asked P as we piled into the car. "Left or right?"

"I think you go left," said P. "You need to find Lyons Road and then you make another left and the theatre should be right there."

It was dark. I turned left. I drove several blocks. It was 7:00 pm. (Remember I said the movie started at 7:30 pm).

It was dark. I kept driving several more blocks. It was 7:10 pm. (Remember I said the movie started at 7:30 pm).

It was dark. I kept driving several more blocks looking for Lyons Road. It was 7:15pm. (I knew where my children were. I knew where my mom was. I didn't know where Lyons Road was.)

"I don't think we are going to make the movie," I said to P.

"I thought it was this way," said P, "I guess I was mistaken." (It was 7:20 pm.) "Turn in here, I think there is another movie theatre in this shopping center. We can see if Julie and Julia is playing here," said P.

I turned left. I drove up to the theatre. D went to check the times. The next showing of Julie and Julia was at 7:25 pm. A went to get the tickets. D helped P out of the car with the walker. I parked the car.

We were all in our seats when the show started. Whew! Close call, but we made it. Glad there are several movie theatres in Flo-ree-da.

Off to See Mickey
"Everyone is always happy here," said D, as we arrived for our three day stay in DisneyWorld. "I wonder if the happy workers go home and yell at their family and friends at the end of the day?"

I realized that I hadn't been to DisneyWorld in many, many years. And after a few days I realized why I hadn't been to DisneyWorld in many, many years. The Beach Club Resort was lovely, but there were soooooooooo many little kids and I don't have little kids anymore. No, now I have BIG KIDS. It just wasn't the same. There was no one to buy Mickey Mouse ears for. No one screaming in my ear to have Breakfast with the Characters. No one to stroll in a stroller around the parks.

Now my kids are old enough to go by themselves on a roller coaster. So, I did not have to lose a night's sleep worrying about how I was going to survive the wait to go on the rollercoaster and survive the fear of the rollercoaster ride. (Years ago, I actually yelled to the Disney conductor to turn off the rollercoaster halfway through the ride, but he never listened to me.)

This time, instead of waiting and worrying, I took myself to see the Beauty and the Beast show with the other rollercoaster wimps, while my BIG KIDS ventured on all the fast-paced rides.

Wedding Bells
Saturday nite was the best - I dressed in my Nicole Miller strapless dress (which was luckily glued to my body from the 90 degree heat) and my Ann Taylor high-heeled sandals (which were also glued to my sweaty feet) and pranced off to my colleague's wedding. She was so beautiful in her elegant gown. She looked just like a Disney princess. It was like a storybook wedding. The sun was setting on the gazebo as they said their vows, we threw yellow rose petals at the bride and groom. Then we were wisked off to Epcot for cocktails, an extraordinary light show, and back to Ariel's restaurant for dinner and dancing. (Not much dancing for me. My 50+ year old feet weren't up for too much dancing in their high-heeled sandals.)

Almost Home
Sunday morning we woke early, finished packing our bags, and were ready to check out. The wonderful thing about staying at a Disney hotel is that you can check your luggage at the hotel and not even think about it until you pick it up at your destination city.

"How many bags are you checking?" asked the attendant.

"Two bags," I said. (A and I had shared a large suitcase. We were good packers. Although, we did bring way too many clothes.)

"We'll have to weigh the bags," said the attendant.

I put my bag on the scale.

"It weighs 53 pounds," said the attendant. "You'll have to take 3 lbs. out of the bag or you'll have to pay an additional $50."

"How could your bag weigh 3 lbs. more than it did when we arrived?" asked D.

"How is that possible," said A.

"Oh no," I said. "I know what it is. It's my Vogue magazine. That's the extra 3 lbs. I packed it in my suitcase."

"Well, just throw it out," said D.

"What, what, what," I replied. "I can't throw out the September issue of Vogue. Not yet. I know I read the entire issue, but I haven't picked out my favorite outfits yet. I know I'm not going to buy those outfits from Neiman Marcus or Armani, but I still want to look at them again when I get home." (But, I also didn't want to spend an extra $50 to take home my Vogue magazine.)

I took out my shoes, and some other items and put them in my son D's suitcase.

"It's 47 lbs.," said the attendant. "You're fine now."

Home Sweet Home
I enjoyed my vacation in Flo-ree-da. It was nice to have a few days to relax, sit by the pool (even with all the little kids), read an entire novel (Friends Forever by Jennifer Weiner), and spend time with three of my favorite people (mom P, daughter A and son D).

I think A was glad to be home too. She didn't appreciate sharing a room with her mom who snores. I never realized I am such a snorer. The good thing is - if I was snoring then I must have been sleeping - which means I wasn't having one of my stressful sleepless menopausal nights.

Yes, like the little mice on vacation - I too had a chance to relax and have fun during my 6 day break in Flo-ree-da.

Judi

From Little Blog to BIG BOOK

Watching the Julie and Julia movie last week inspired me to start working on my book again. That's because the movie is all about Julie from Queens who blogs about cooking Julia Child recipes. It's about how she becomes famous from her little blog. (Okay, it wasn't that little a blog. She was featured in the NY Times.) And then she turns her blog into a book. And then the book is picked up by a movie studio and Nora Ephron turns it into a movie with Meryl Streep and Amy Adams. Wow! How exciting! From a little blog to a BIG BOOK.

I closed my eyes and thought about my first blog that I wrote during 2007...during the year I was counting down to my 50th birthday. I thought about my plans to turn my first blog into a book. And then I started to get really excited.

I can do this I said to myself. Yes, I can. If I start editing one post a day, I will finish my book in 365 days. Or less, if I do more editing each day.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, I began to dream. What if I really do get my book written within the next year? What if I turn my first blog - ayearto50 - into a book and someone wants to publish it?

Ooh, ooh, ooh, what if someone wants to publish my story about my extraordinary countdown to my 50th birthday? It would change my life. Perhaps! And if it doesn't change my life, at least I can say I authored a book during my 50+ years. And if no one wants to publish my book, I can always self-publish.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, what if I write my book and someone does publish it, and then a movie studio wants to turn it into a movie. That would definitely change my life forever and ever. I'd be famous, just like Julie from the Julie and Julia movie.

Let's see, what actress do I want to play me in my movie? I think Diane Lane would make a good Judi. And the actor Brad Garrett would be excellent as my late husband M. Brad is tall with dark hair - just like M was.

What about my kids? My daughter A said she would like Megan Fox, the actress from the Transformer movie to play her part. Of course, Megan is beautiful. However, so is Diane Lane.

My son D thought the whole movie idea was ridiculous, so he would not participate in my 'name the actor' game. I told him if he would not participate, then I would do the casting call for him. Let's see, I don't know too many young actors, but perhaps Shia LeBeouf, would do well as D.

"Shia LeBeouf, Shia LeBeouf," said D. "He will be way too old to play me by the time they produce your movie," said D. "You haven't even finished your book yet."

"Okay, okay, you're right," I said. "Who do I think I am producing a movie before I even have a book written."

I started editing my blog posts last week. I was doing really well. I had completed a few pages, when interuptions hit. First, it was the new roof installation that required my attention. Then, it was my son's dorm room situation (or lack of one) that distracted me. Then, just yesterday, I had another annoyance when my garage door opener decided to breakdown.

Oh, I don't know how I am going to find the time to work on my book!

Just do it! Just do it! Just do it!

Oh, I don't know how I am going to find the time to work on my book!

Just do it! Just do it! Just do it!

Come September, one week from now, I'm going to stop all these excuses and start some serious editing. Come September or maybe October, I'm going to set up my writing nook (in my son D's old bedroom) and really get started with my first draft. Yes, I'm going to hire the 1-800-GOT-JUNK company to get rid of my son's old furniture and go to IKEA and order a new desk for his room (actually his room is going to morph into MY room once he leaves for college).

Yes, I can and I will be a published author during my 50+ years.

I will, I will, I will.

However, as for Hollywood, I guess Hollywood may have to wait awhile. Or, maybe, maybe, maybe, I'll just take my published or self-published book out to Hollywood and take a picture of myself with my book in front of the Hollywood sign in California. Or, maybe I'll just get a big Hollywood sign for my new writing room in New Jersey, so I can look at it every time I sit down to write my book.

Better get some rest now, so I can keep dreaming.


Judi

Retail Therapy

Nothing like a little 'retail therapy' to cheer up my daughter A this weekend. It was a true mother daughter bonding experience. We went to the King (short for King of Prussia Mall in PA, as my son D calls it. Speaking of son D, I let him have my condo on the corner at the shore this weekend. Since I had let his sister A have it with her friends last weekend, I had promised to give him a weekend with his friends too. Something is wrong here...sounds like I am the one losing out, especially with the gorgeous sunny weather, it was a fabulous condo on the corner at the shore weekend, but I wasn't there. Instead, I was at home doing 'retail therapy.').

Daughter A was still very upset about the breakup with ex-boyfriend A. (It is official as of Tuesday. Or, was it Monday evening when A called me to say that ex-boyfriend A had emailed her to say after a month it was an offical breakup? I can't remember. I just remember the hysteria on the phone.)

A came home for the weekend and I suggested that there is nothing like a little 'retail therapy' to get over a breakup. Pasta, chocolate and wine are also good therapy for a breakup. That's what we did on Friday night.

On Saturday, we arrived at King ready to shop. First, we went to Nordstroms where A tried on several fantastic pairs of boots. Yes, I said boots. I know it was 90 degrees outside, but A was ready to forget the summer and head into fall with a new wardrobe. I loved the Jessica Simpson black suede boots she tried on. They looked fabulous on her. It was sure to be a purchase, I thought as she put them on hold before we headed off to the next store.

"I have to look great this fall," said A. "Yes, you do," I agreed. "Absolutely, you have to look great and you will. Those boots will look smashing with sooooo many fall and winter outfits."

I went to Banana Republic to purchase some tees (BR short sleeve tagless tees are so comfy under a suit - I highly recommend them), while A went off to Bloomies to check on handbags. A found a Cole Haan handbag she liked.

"Mom, you have to see this handbag," said A when I caught up with her, "I really like it."

"I don't know about that handbag," I said. "It is too large, too big, too much bag for your body size."

"Really? You don't like it?" said A. "No, I don't," I replied.

"But, I really want and need a new handbag," said A. "You know, I've always wanted a Louis Vuitton handbag."

"Well, then we should go to the Louis Vuitton store," I said, "I like LV bags more than this Cole Haan one. (I must have been having a fiftysomething moment of pre-dementia. I can't believe I said that! OMG! Did I really say that we or she should go to the Louis Vuitton store? Why would I suggest this to a twentysomething who was going through breakup 'retail therapy?' It was sure to lead to some serious $$$ out of the bank account.)

And there we were, fiftysomething Judi (who has never owned a real LV handbag, only a tiny fake one I once bought on Canal Street in NYC) and daughter A (who was about 15 minutes from purchasing a real LV for $$$).

"Can I help you?" said the nice salesperson.

"Yes," said A. "I would like to see the LV Speedy."

And then...and then...and then, A put the LV Speedy on her arm. I think it was love at first sight. I knew she would never take it off her arm. It looked so great on her arm too, like it was made just for her.

"I love it," said A, "I really love it. I've always wanted this bag."

"I love it too," I said, "I really love it too."

"I love it," said A, "I really love it. I've always wanted this bag."

"I love it too," I said, "I really love it too."

"Should I get it?" A said, "Do you think I should spend $$$ of my inheritance on this handbag?"

She began to rationalize that the handbag was quite economical...especially after the salesperson said the handbag would last a lifetime. Then A told me how her friend E had borrowed her mom's LV Speedy which was likely a 30+ year old handbag. (Oh no, had I deprived my daughter by not buying my own LV Speedy 30+ years ago? If I had, she would not have had to spend a chunk of her inheritance yesterday. At least, I now know that my future granddaughter or granddaughters will one day inherit their mother's LV Speedy. They will not be deprived. No, no, no, they will not be deprived.)

"Do it," I said, "Just do it." (OMG, did I really say that she should buy the Louis Vuitton handbag for $$$? Did I really say that? I did. I did. I did.)

"That was my first Louis," said another woman in the shop who looked about my age. "You are going to love it forever."

As the salesperson rang up A's sale and prepped the bag for its exit, she said to A, "What's the special occasion? Your birthday? Graduation?"

"My boyfriend just broke up with me. It's a 'break-up bag,'" said A.

"Well that's the best reason for a Louis Vuitton handbag. said the salesperson, "it will always be there for you."

As we left the store, A had a smile on her face. Actually, she had a big grin on her face.

"I can't believe I just did that," said A.

"I can't believe it either," I added.

As I drove A and her LV Speedy to the bus stop to catch the bus to NYC this afternoon, she really did look great with her new handbag on her arm. And, unlike ex-boyfriends who may come and go, A's LV Speedy will hopefully always make her happy. Plus, even when she is fiftysomething and the leather handles have turned dark brown, the canvas will never wrinkle. No, it will never wrinkle. It is simply ageless.

Judi

My New White Jeans

I went shopping last week. I had wanted to purchase a pair of white jeans all summer long and now that summer is almost over, I finally found a pair of white jeans at Lord & Taylor. The best was that there was only one pair left on the rack and they were my size, the second best was that the jeans fit me to a tee, the third best was that the jeans were on sale, and the fourth best was that I had a 20 percent discount coupon on top of the sale.

No they didn't pay me to take the jeans out of the store...but it almost felt like they did. (When I want to purchase something I am such a good rationalizer. No, I'm better than a rationalizer, I'm beginning to think that perhaps I am becoming a frugalista like the frugalista blogger I met at the BlogHer conference a week ago. Do you know that this woman created the word 'frugalista'?)

Soooo, I took my white jeans home. And when I tried them on again in my walk-in closet and looked in the mirror (I have a full length mirror in my walk in closet), I realized that the reason why they made my tummy look so small was because they are a special brand of jeans. Yes, I found the jeans I had read about over a year ago in People Style Watch magazine. I found the jeans made especially for baby boomer women.

My new white jeans are made by the 'Not Your Daughter's Jeans Company' (NYDJ). No wonder I like these jeans. I've tried on many, many brands of jeans that my daughter wears and they never fit me. They are either too tight, too low cut, too wide, or too long (my new white jeans were too long too, but they only needed a little hem, not 10 inches taken off like some of the popular brands that my twentysomething daughter wears).

According to the NYDJ label attached to my jeans, "NYDJ cannot be held responsible for any positive consequence that may arise due to my fabulous appearance when wearing my Tummy Tuck Jean," says Lisa Rudes-Sandel, the founder of this fabulous jean company. "You can thank me later," adds Lisa.

Lisa is right. I did have positive consequences with my white jeans. It happened two days after I purchased my NYDJ white jeans. It happened when I was having my jeans hemmed at the cleaners on Friday. I was standing tall in my NYDJ jeans as the tailor measured the hem. Another boomer woman came into the store to pick up her cleaning and turned to see me in my jeans. "What fabulous white jeans," she said, "they fit you great, where did you get them?" "Thank you, thank you," I replied as I smiled, "Lord & Taylor on sale."

According to NYDJ, their jeans with the "Flatten Your Tummy" double "criss cross" feature also lift my buttocks and allow me to look and feel one size smaller." (I am a size 4, so the one size smaller isn't the biggest benefit, but the buttocks lift is a definite plus. Thank you Lisa, your jeans are the best.

I think I will have to purchase another pair of these jeans in blue denim and maybe black denim too (I do need new jeans for casual jean Fridays at work). I read on the NYDJ website that these jeans are top sellers at nordstrom.com. I know where I'm headed the next time I want a new pair of jeans for the Fall.

However, I also may have to stop at Lord & Taylor and pick up a pair of the Ellen Tracy "Elton" leopard-print pony hair pumps (that I just saw in the new Fall catalog) to go with my next pair of NYDJ jeans. Ooh, just read that animal prints are 'in' for Fall fashionistas (notice I didn't say for 'frugalistas' there is a BIG difference between the two - or maybe not, I guess frugalistas can also be fashionistas, right?).

Can't wait to get my September Vogue and InStyle mags - hope my mailbox is still standing after the 800+ page issues arrive.

Judi

Goodbye Peri, Hello Meno

I went to my gynecologist last week for my yearly checkup. "How are you doing?" she asked me. "How long has it been since your last period?"

I hesitated. I had to think about it. And then I said, "You know what, it has been a year. I haven't had my period since last June."

"You have reached menopause," she said, "next year we will have you get a bone density test."

"Should I start taking calcium supplements?" I asked my doctor, even though I had started to chew Viactiv calcium supplements awhile ago. They taste pretty good and they are chocolate.

"Actually no," doctor S said, "you may not need them. Wait until we do the test next year and see if you need extra calcium."

So, last week it was official. As I walked out of my gynecologist's office after my pap test, I said goodbye to my perimenopausal days and officially became branded as a menopausal woman. I'm so glad I purchased a copy of Dr. Christiane Northrup's newly updated and revised edition of "The Wisdom of Menopause." I definitely am going to need all the advice I can get as I enter this new phase of my life.

Dr. Northrup says that the hormone-driven changes during menopause 'affect the brain.' (Ooh, this is scary.)

Dr. Northrup says that these hormone-driven changes 'give a woman a sharper eye for inequity and injustice and a voice that insists on speaking up about them.' (Ooh, ooh, I wonder if I will start to be bold and brazen in my 50+ years. Let's see, what inequities and injustices do I want to speak up about? Hmm,hmm. I'm sure there will be plenty of inequities and injustices to speak up about as my hormone-driven changes kick in.)

According to Dr. Northrup, if I keep silent during this time, 'it will be like putting the plug on a pressure cooker.' (I know what that is like. I used to have a pressure cooker when I was twenty-something. I never liked cooking with it. I always thought the top was going to blow off. Ooh, ooh, just the thought and image of that pressure cooker makes me want to pop. No wonder I have so many tension headaches lately. I guess I've been putting the plug on my voice box and not speaking up for what I want. Wonder if my headaches will go away as I start to express myself more?)

Dr. Northrup says to prepare for this transformation, 'we must be willing to take full responsibility for our share of the problems in our lives.' (Am I ready to do this? Do I have the courage to admit my own contributions to the things that have gone wrong in my life and stop seeing myself as a victim of something outside of myself? Do I? Do I? Do I? I want to. I want to. I want to. Yes, yes, yes. Ah,ah,ah, I feel better all ready!)

By doing this, Dr. Northrup says it will help me 'change, heal, grow, and move on to a more fulfilling and joyful life.' (I'm getting excited. This menopausal gig might be just what I need in the second half of my life.)

Oh,no. Oh,no. Dr. Northrup says that there is another requirement for transformation and it is more difficult. The second requirement is that 'I must be willing to feel the pain of loss and grieve for those parts of my life that I am leaving behind.' (Well, I know how to do this. I've been doing this for almost two years. Unfortunately, I now know what it's like to lose a spouse, to let go of a marriage that lasted 24 years, to watch my children grow up and leave the nest, to become comfortable on my own at 50+. Dr. Northrup is right, it is difficult to leave those parts of my life behind and start anew.)

I'm only up to page 17 in Dr. Northrup's book and I've already gained so much menopausal knowledge. Wait, I have to read this next paragraph out loud. I have to yell. Here goes:

'THE EMOTIONAL CHANGES THAT COME ABOUT IN THE YEARS LEADING UP TO AND DURING MENOPAUSE CAN FEEL EARTHSHAKING AND EVEN TERRIFYING, PARTICULARLY FOR THOSE OF US WHO ARE ACCUSTOMED TO THINKING WE'RE IN CONTROL. IT'S ONE THING TO RESIST CHANGE FROM SOME EXTERNAL FORCE. IT'S QUITE ANOTHER WHEN THE CHANGE IS COMING FROM WITHIN, AND EVERYTHING YOU CLING TO THAT'S COMFORTABLE IN ITS FAMILIARITY, INCLUDING YOUR VERY IDENTITY IS METAMORPHOSING FROM THE INSIDE OUT.'

Now I have to yell and scream again in my own words,

"THAT'S EXACTLY HOW I FEEL! THAT'S EXACTLY HOW I FEEL! WHO AM I? WHO IS THE NEW JUDI?"

I'm like a caterpillar that is turning into a butterfly. Wait a minute. Wait...a...minute. I like butterflies more than caterpillars. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Butterflies are prettier than caterpillars. Butterflies can fly. Butterflies can move faster than caterpillars. Caterpillars can only crawl.

Maybe I am ready, as Dr. Northrup says, 'to live a life based on true freedom and joy!'

Red light. Green light. One, two, three. Ready or not, I'm moving forward into the next phase of my life. Goodbye peri, hello meno. Hello. Hello.

I can't wait to read the next chapter and learn more about what more menopausal wisdom awaits me.

Judi